You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view… Until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it. – Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird
I’ve long believed we are at our best when allowing ourselves time to sit with another in their story and to share our own. When we walk around a bit in someone else’s memories and see what life looks like from eyes not our own, we grow in the ability to comprehend another’s suffering and triumphs, struggles and celebrations.
We may find ourselves enthralled with their humanity or lack thereof, but we’ll never be able to dismiss them outright again. Sitting in someone’s skin, indeed walking around in it, will always open our eyes a bit more to the world around us.
It’s why I love memoir so much. It’s also why I believe memoir writing, at least for the purpose of finding what your story is really saying, is well worth the time and energy it takes to dig it all up and get it down on paper.
For a writer, it is the practice of learning to see and capture in small bites the story of a life.
The stories that make you who you are will change with time and perspective , certainly the memoir I would’ve written at 21 would be much different from the memoirs I write now. You may have a thousand memoirs writing themselves with each day you live. But you are not tasked with choosing just one.
The stories that make up your life always belong to you. You’ll just look at them with different eyes as the years go by. And sometimes you’ll see more in the story and sometimes you’ll see less.
But you’re learning to look with open eyes, and that is the best lesson a writer learns. To take in the world around you and dig into the world within you and put it to paper so others see too.
Memoir helps catch and pin down things past and present. It tells the story of you.
We’re doing snapshots this week. Just a preview, really, of how you saw for one moment of time. Feeling stuck? Tweet me or leave a comment and I’ll shoot you a prompt. Join us?
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Memoir writing is very new to me. I found it to be healing and at the same time nerve wracking because my life is so personal as is everyone’s! Thank you for this exercise today.
Mary
Thanks for joining in Mary, and you were one of the first! Brave. Thanks so much for writing with us for this exercise.
Had fun visiting a few in the link up. I love memoir and you so this intrigued me when I saw the post on FB. Great idea for your group.
We’re having a really good time dabbling in our stories and I love what our group has brought to the table. It’s been a joy to sit back and watch them dig in. Thanks for joining us, friend. I always cherish your words.
Thanks for your thoughts on memoir and linking us all together.
Thank you so much for joining us. You guys make this writing group such a blessing for us leaders.
Very stuck! Very. Have been struggling for a long time with writing my story. Can share it verbally, but writing? Not so much. Help! 🙂
I put some prompts up in the group but I’ll post here as well.
Here are some prompts I pulled together. They’re intentionally vague. They’re meant to spark memories or ideas and not to fill in a whole story. Writing prompts for memoir
A time you put your child to bed.
A time you had to move. Houses, or job, or your body.
A time you were in a waiting room. At a hospital or a train station or waiting for an airplane.
A time you did something thinking it was no big deal.
A time you were a tourist, or a time you were a local.
A time your mother let you try on her shoes or her jewelry.
A time you went shopping for the perfect gift for…
A time when you knew you were going to marry your husband.
Starters such as I remember… or I don’t remember…
A time you were so sick and you felt…
The hottest place you’ve ever been. How did your hair/makeup/clothes hold up?
Your father/mother/teacher always said…
A time you painted, your house/a picture/your nails
A time you were submerged in water, swimming, in the shower, baptism, rain.
A time you held hands with your child/mother/husband/random person at church.
A time you had to run to catch up, or make it.
Start with the memory or prompt and work your way out. Look around a bit in your memory. What do you see? Use your senses. What do you smell, how do things feel under your fingers, with your skin? What can you hear? How does it sound? Are you eating? What does it taste like? Where are you? How do you feel being there? Nail down those moments and as you work out see if you can’t find the significance of the moment.
Maybe you were a tourist and felt silly lugging around your huge camera and you got lost and felt completely alone and insignificant in a huge city. Maybe you found your way home and realized you’re braver than you thought. Maybe you were a college girl or a child and you could sense your parents frustration. Maybe your mom liked adventures and your dad stayed home and read the paper. Maybe she took you grocery shopping with her every Sunday and always bought you an ice cream on the way home. They don’t have to be extraordinary stories. Sometimes the most ordinary things are the most profound. Think of the parables, they had lots to say and yet a child can easily understand them.
Also, if you have any questions or want to bounce ideas off of us, I’ll be in and out of the writer’s group throughout the day.
Thanks for this link-up, I enjoyed visiting many different beautiful stories! You are a blessing, Alia!
I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. I’ve loved seeing everyone’s stories unfolding as well. You guys are such an amazing group. Blessed to be part.