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5 minute Friday: Empty

You know the drill. We write for 5 minutes flat with no second guessing, backtracking, or overthinking. We write for the pleasure of the clacking keys and the release of our words.

Then we link up at The Gypsy Mama and enjoy what others have shared. Join us. This weeks word is Empty. Ready Go.

I began this year with a blank screen and a burning desire to fill the pages with my story. This blog, born of many years of voices swirling in my mind, breaking free in narrative, inspired something new in me.
Freedom and if I’m honest, so much fear. And so my first official blog post was formed. I chose my one word 365, or rather it chose me.

Stripped.

For so many years, there have been layers of covering. Scars and sorrow and the ever present mask of self-sufficiency have disguised my sin, my disbelief, my weakness, my rebellion.
But this is the year, when that mask has begun to crumble, when I will be recovered in Him.
And God has used this passion to strip me. The process has begun.
Will I still write when there are no comments or likes or tweets?

Will I still trust Him when all things seem to go wrong and my body is fragile and weary?

Will my identity be found in Him and not in the page views on Google Analytics?

Will I speak the words that are truth to me or will I allow insecurity to plague and harass me with their slippery tongues?

Will I bathe in the gospel daily and let it cover this sin scourged soul like a healing salve?

Will I allow the words He has spoken to me to be my true story, and am I willing to follow Him wherever He leads me?

Will I let Him be the true author?

Will I let Him empty me to be filled with His story?

I pray and beg and plead that my answer will be yes. Yes, Lord. Help me to say yes.

Stop, now head over to gypsy mama to link up and enjoy other’s take on this weeks word.

Comments: 14 Comments Category: Blogging, Faith Tags: blogging, comparison, five minute Fridays, God, hurt, self image, stripped, word

Five Minute Friday: Real

Write for 5 minutes flat-no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

Her coughing vibrates through the walls. I wake, wondering if she’s going to come in and climb into our bed, again. I am weary worn from all this sickness. We’ve been hit hard this season with fevered foreheads, runny noses, aching tummies. And even more than the bodies that are drained, my spirit is tired. This life stuff is hard.

God has spoken. I feel it in my bones, down deep where the quiet reflections grow into vision. I know what He wants for me. I can see the narrow path and I want to walk, I do. But, it’s hard when the night overflows with coughing lungs, wadded up tissues, Tylenol, and “Mommy, I don’t feel good.”

My dad used to preach on God’s promise, problem, and provision. How we see God’s promise held out for us and by faith we grasp with frail fingers. But the problem follows. Like Sarah waiting for Isaac, the years of being barren weaken that grasp.

The progress on this path is thwarted by all the obstacles.

Sometimes the provision seems like an imagined thing, something that will never come. And we let go. We settle for the now. Just when we need to cling tighter, weaving our fingers into that promise strand, digging in, entangled in God’s word. Just when we need to look past the barren years or the sleepless nights and remember a God whose promises always hold true, even when our grip is weak.

This is my real. This is my now.

Comments: 12 Comments Category: Faith, Family, Kids, Parenting Tags: faith, five minute Fridays, God, kids, life, overwhelmed, word

One word for 2012: Stripped

I’d prefer having a different word, if I could pick any on a whim. I would feel much more comfortable with give or praise or heck, while we’re at it blessed. But those don’t resonate with me the same way. So I know that although those are things God might be speaking into others hearts for 2012, that’s not what he’s telling me.