marriage - Narrow Paths to Higher Places

80 Candles: A Lesson in Living as Light

I can only imagine what they thought of me.

A sixteen year old girl, just recently surrendered to the cross even though there had been many years of truth, rebellion had prevailed. And on the journey back to God and his redeeming grace, there was always the refining. So much to refine. The hot fire burning away the sins that had entangled during those years of mutiny, raging against God, the immaturity of a child who thought she knew so much.

I had my sights set on their oldest grandson. I can imagine that they might have worried about what kind of influence a girl like me would be on their grandson, who was also trying to follow God. But I can also imagine that they saw through the façade to a girl who just needed grace. And grace they knew well, practiced so hard, extended so abundantly.

Grandma Dorothy and Grandpa Harry

And even years later, after I had married their oldest grandson, He still used their lives to speak volumes about what true love and grace looks like. During our first month of marriage, when we were still children in so many ways, we stayed in their small guest room on the far side of their home to work and save money to move to Oregon. The steady routine of seeking God, thanking God, and walking with God was always present in their days.

They were veterans in this journey of faith.

They had raised their four children to love God.

They had ministered with their whole lives, not just from the pulpit where he preached for so many years, or in the community where they worked, or with the many people that were drawn to them by their obvious heart for God, but in the prayers said for each of us every day as they sought the Lord on our behalf.

I thank God for those prayers.

Their marriage was a testament to the power of God’s design at work. As Grandma Dorothy served her potato cheese soup and we gathered at the table to pray and give thanks, this family that had eaten this very meal a thousand times over the years, celebrated the majestic in the mundane task of breaking bread together. Their affection, and comfort with each other after all the years together spoke eloquently of a partnership God had brought together to impact future generations.

And they did. Impact future generations. The grace and gentleness they extended to me as a lost young thing at their table the summer I was sixteen and had come to visit Josh, struck me deep. I didn’t have grandparents of my own. I hadn’t known Christians who were mentors instead of peers. I was an apprentice of their wisdom. Of these generations ahead of me soaked deep in the word of God and rooted in humility and kindness.

I was adopted in so many ways.

5 months pregnant with Kaia and her great grandparents

When Grandpa Harry passed away, I broke down and sobbed because I had lost my grandfather. The only grandfather I had ever known. A gentle man who loved to make the grandchildren laugh, who lived a life of integrity, who lived the gospel. I clutched Josh and we grieved raw at the loss of a man who showed me Jesus every time I was in his presence. I can’t wait to see him again when we enter eternity.

Grandpa Harry with Kaia

But for those of us here, remaining each year and aging, we are reminded by each passing birthday of the life we have lived so far. Each candle on the cake represents years in which lives were birthed, friends were met, places on the map were seen, memories were made, marriages were formed, and loved ones passed.

Today, Grandma Dorothy turns 80 years old.

Eighty years of a life devoted to God, to her husband, and her children, to her church, and her friends, to her neighbors, and her community. And to me, a girl who was so very confused and lost but was welcomed at the table anyway. Who was loved, and prayed for and who desires with all of her heart to impact future generations with the grace she has received.

Grandma Dorothy with Nehemiah

Grandma Dorothy, Thank you so much for your beautiful example of what a godly Christian wife and mother look like. I thank you so much for all the prayers sent up on behalf of Josh and I and our children. We love you with all of our hearts and pray you have a wonderful 80th birthday. We pray that each candle flickers with happy memories of a life lived with great love.

Hugs and kisses, from your adopted granddaughter, Alia.

I’m linked up at

Comments: 6 Comments Category: Faith, Family, Love Letters, Relationship Tags: faith, God, influence, life, marriage, service

Five Minute Friday: Gift

Around here we write for five minutes flat on Fridays.

We set a timer, throw caution to the winds and try to remember what it was like to just write without worrying if it’s just right or not.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat on the prompt- no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Meet & encourage someone who linked up before you.

OK, are you ready? Give us your best five minutes on: Gift

Go.

This is what he brings. Forgiveness more than I’ve forgiven. Strong hands worn rough and calloused from years of rising faithfully to dip brushes and paint houses and brave the cold and heat and fatigue that construction brings to afford my presence at home connecting hearts and minds with Crayola and lullabies, and books read by the fire.

Hands that have caressed my hair and lifted my chin to meet his eyes when my heart is failing and I cannot see my way out. When I start to believe the lies and I want to hide the wretched parts of me, so glaringly obvious in the daylight, these hands uncover the truth of who I am. Beautiful. Wanted. Loved. Cherished.

He brings comfort and familiarity. Years stretched long with so much misunderstanding and hurts have paved the way for our commitment to lay a foundation of contentment and security. We have battled with tempers raging and words flung like feral animals, claws and fangs bared, and we’ve wounded. We’ve grown into our disagreements, often bantering and arguing with a smile on our faces, we will never be alike. We are too different. But we are one. I trust he will never leave me. I trust. We rarely draw blood with our words anymore, it’s no fun wounding yourself.

The infatuation of first love has faded over the years into something real and pure. These hands have held fevered children while they wretched and their tummies ached. These hands have rocked tired babies and laid them to bed night after night. These hands have brought me coffee in bed for years. These are the hands that reach for me when I crawl into bed, weary and drained from a day of dishes, and school books, and diapers, and little voices with constant questions, and rub my back and pull me close.

This is what he brings. Warm feet to balance my cold ones as we slip under the covers and he folds me into his arms. As I lay hearing the beat of his heart and feel these hands that I know so well, I am aware that they are a gift from my Lord, who knows how much I need them.

Comments: 8 Comments Category: Blogging, Marriage Tags: five minute Fridays, marriage

Your blog is only as good as your marriage.

I was planning on finishing up my post on Blissdom but upon arriving home, I was met with a nasty stomach bug. Think of this post as a five-minute Friday. I didn’t edit or over think and I’m still as sick as ever so this may or may not make sense. Josh had been gallantly holding down the fort while I was in Nashville. Nehemiah had thrown up all over our bed the night before I flew out so I knew I was leaving him with his hands full. He got sick also and between him and my mother, managed to clean up vomit, administer tylenol, and keep the house running.

I got in late Sunday night and after tight hugs and snuggles with the family, I crawled into my bed, happy to finally get to sleep after a long day of traveling. I didn’t know that I would stay in that bed for the next 3 days. My body began to ache and my stomach churned. I was either sweating out the peak of the fever of curled into a clammy ball. My soggy sheets were wrapped around me and I slept, vomited, and slept some more.

During all of this, Josh cared for the kids, who were still sick. Cleaned vomit from the carpet when Kaia didnt’ quite make it to the bathroom. Woke, rocked, and changed Nehemiah in the middle of the night while my fever raged on and I was in a delirious stupor. I am still in the throes of this horrible ick so I may be making less sense than I hope.

Tsh from Simple Mom, said something during her writing session at Blissdom. “Your blog is only as good as your marriage.” She was referring to her partnership with her husband and how they work together to make Simple Living Media, their family, and their marriage work.

After meeting so many amazing women at Blissdom and getting to know their stories, I am truly blessed. But the truth is Josh is and always will be my biggest fan. He supports my dreams, encourages my fantasies, and quells my insecurities. He is always there for me. After a week like this one where I have been pretty much catatonic, he has stepped up again and carried the burden for us both. He is one of the main reasons that I can do the things that I feel called to do. So, thanks Josh, for all the support. I couldn’t do any of it without you.