Fasting in the idol factory

Fasting is a lost discipline in our culture. In many ways we are simply too busy to fast or we misunderstand the concept and purpose completely.

 I’m not talking about skipping meals so you can fit into your skinny jeans. That is a diet.

Fasting without the intention of seeking God is simply asceticism and anyone with a little willpower can do that.

Denying yourself  to attain righteousness leads to pride as the pharisees showed, or to despair, if one cannot do it perfectly. Our natural tendency is to vacillate between moralism and liberalism. We are legalistic or hedonistic.

We do grace so poorly. We do not understand gospel. We add a cost to it when it’s free, or we cheapen it when it was such a high price to pay.

Denying yourself to cast your weakness wholly into the realm where God’s grace is required to sustain you is another matter entirely. Worship and prayer are essential to fasting.

It’s not optional.

And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. “Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,  Matthew 6:16-17

When, not if we fast. When. Quite the same as ‘when you pray…’ or ‘when you give’ It’s expected as part of our relationship with God. 

But why fast?

We all worship.

Man’s nature, so to speak, is a perpetual factory of idols.
― John Calvin

And what is an idol used for? Worship, surely. But also for provision of our needs. We use idols to seek out help, to provide for something that is lacking. To fill us. 

In American culture, I believe some of these idols are security, success, and comfort. We love God but we don’t want to need Him too much. We have faith enough to get saved  but not enough to be dependent on Him to provide, to meet our innermost needs, to heal us from our shattered past and hurts, to sustain and fill us.

 And we turn. Almost imperceptibly.

If we’ve been Christians long, we’ve often mastered the way of the pharisee or the road of despair. We may have mastered those sins and social stigmas by which we associate good Christian people. We don’t smoke or cuss, we don’t commit adultery or live with our boyfriend, we don’t steal from people, we don’t murder or beat our spouse, we don’t do illicit drugs or tell lies. Maybe we don’t watch R rated movies, drink alcohol, or have cable. Maybe we think we are more righteous because we don’t do these things.

 At least we follow the rules.

And we measure and count up our righteousness. If we fall short there’s always more to do, to abstain from, to strive for. There’s always guilt and shame and exhaustion. 

If we are good Christians we may have learned which sins are sociably acceptable. We let those settle into our hearts. We know which ones are justified, rationalized,  and empathized with.

Which ones are perfectly acceptable in our culture.

We can gossip, especially if it’s in the form of a prayer request for that person. We can covet other people’s things and mask it as admiration and ambition.  We can overindulge and call it celebration. We can buy things we don’t need so that we feel comforted and secure and call it wisdom or planning.   We can be ungrateful for the things we do have. We can be blind to the blessings. We can be prideful and mask it as security. We can be insecure and call it humility. We can ignore the plight of  unbelievers and call it discernment as we distance ourselves.

We can replace God. We can build our kingdom here. We can call this place home instead of looking to the place He has prepared for us.

I’m not talking about openly denouncing Jesus.

It’s much more subtle. It’s a sleeping of our souls. A rest that comes more from drowsiness than peace. 

Yet God wants us to be fully, vibrantly awake.

Spain

Sometimes the jolt that can shock through the slumber is fasting. It creates a dependency on God, a connection in ways that remind us that this home is temporary. That this body is ephemeral.  It can offer break through to idols that are deep-seated within.

The weakness of our hunger for God is not because He is unsavory, but because we keep ourselves stuffed with ‘other things.’ Perhaps, then, the denial of our stomach’s appetite for food might express, or even increase our soul’s appetite for  God  - John Piper, A Hunger for God

What are your idol factories producing?

When was the last time you fasted anything?

 Food? Spending? Entertainment? Is God asking you to make Him your only master?

For an amazing read on the powers of fasting, I highly recommend Hunger for God by John Piper and  Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster

 

Decluttering Part one: This Fat Suit Seems to be Stuck!

I love makeover shows. I love before and afters. The ones where they sneak up on some poor unsuspecting woman wearing elastic mom jeans,  her husbands oversized sweater and a perm from the late 1980′s and transform her with dark tailored jeans, cute ballet flats, and a shiny new angled bob.

Or the ones where they round-up morbidly obese people and make them run and run and run and voilà, skinny people with new hair and whiter teeth. Yay!  You are finally worthy to wear that spandex!!!

I also love those movies where a normally skinny actress forgoes eating krispy kremes  in favor of a fat suit.  The fat suit usually goes above and beyond what krispy kremes are capable of. C’mon these actresses can’t gain too much. They’d have to lose it all after the role to be able to get those other parts reserved only for the skinny (which seems to be most of them.)

To watch Gwyneth , Julia or  Monica on Friends with backfat, double chins, and muffin top is highly entertaining to me. I suppose a large part of it is that it is a total transformation. It not only changes their appearance but their entire persona. Their entire countenance changes. They go from a character that is disciplined, desirable, and in control to one that is out of control. One that eats in secret, has deep insecurities or problems, and is generally funny. The one that gets looked over even though they have a pretty face and a great personality. The one that becomes triumphant only when they lose the weight and are able to be a normal person. It’s fascinating to watch because I can relate.

I’m not really sure when I got my fat suit. I do know that it seems to be stuck. After years of yo-yo dieting, extreme working out, disordered eating, and eventual weight gain, this fat suit has remained . I’ve never really changed inside although the outside certainly has.

It’s always been a heart  issue.

My eating issues have been a long time pal. I have seen my way through heart ache, boredom, celebration, fear, stress, and joy with food as my constant companion.

My fat suit wasn’t always visible. Sometimes, it was hidden and only I could feel it

 As a child of 5, I can distinctly remember walking down the street behind my older brother and his friend because I didn’t want them looking at how fat I was. The sad thing is that I wasn’t. Not even a little bit. That came later.

I was molested as a child by someone close to our family. Although, it’s taken years to come to terms with some of the ramifications of the abuse, my self-image has suffered tremendously.

alia

The times when I focused the most on my body were times when I was flailing spiritually, my body had become an idol to replace the food. We are created to worship so if you remove an idol without replacing it with God a new one will eventually fill it. When I felt right with God, my body became less important. I recognized that the attention I was trying to get to meet a need in me was sin and pride. But when I wasn’t focused on that, I felt exposed and empty and my emotional eating and gluttony snuck back in. After all, gluttony is a totally acceptable sin in American culture. If you’ve ever questioned this, just go to a church potluck.  Fat is comfortable, not just the food but the actual fat.

Fat girls are invisible. 

It may seem that the opposite would be true, that we would stick out more.   But really, it’s like an invisibility cloak.

Poof, I’m in my fat suit and now you can no longer see me. You see a stereotype. She must be lazy and undisciplined to let herself get that way. She must eat a ton of  junk food and not know anything about nutrition. She must not know how  unhealthy she is. She must never exercise. She must be funny and have a pretty face and a nice personality.

But that’s not really me. It’s the fat suit. I’m rarely lazy, if anything I’m too busy. I was a nutrition major in college with a minor in exercise physiology. I love to spin, lift weights and swim. And I’m occasionally  funny with an average face and the nice personality is entirely up for debate.

So therein lies the problem, how does one remove the fat suit?

The truth is I’m not entirely sure.

Eat right and exercise are the most simplistic of answers and while true and helpful, do nothing in the elimination of a lifelong fat suit. There are a lot of skinny girls walking around with invisible fat suits.

 In  C.S. Lewis’s Voyage of the Dawn Treader, Eustice is the character you love to hate. He is wretched, whiny, and disagreeable in every way. After sailing to an island in Narnia, he discovers a dragon’s cave filled with treasure. Knowing the dragon is dead, he takes as much treasure as he can and then falls asleep. When he wakes he finds that he has turned into a dragon and finds himself isolated and alone, unable to join his ship.

He encounters Aslan ,who tells him to  undress. But he is a dragon and has no clothes. He starts to claw at himself and peel away the skins. Just as he thinks he has peeled it all away, he sees that they have all grown back and he is as much a dragon as ever.

 I think fat suits and dragon skins are a lot alike. 

 Then the lion said – but I don’t know if it spoke – ‘You will have to let me undress you.’

  I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now.

 So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it. 

               The very first tear he made was do deep that I thought it had

                gone right into my heart.

And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt.

The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off.

You know – if you’ve ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.

                 Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off – just as I thought I’d

                 done it myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt –

and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been.

And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. 

C.S. Lewis Voyage of the Dawn Treader

So I am asking for His claws. The ones I know will hurt and pierce and shred. The only ones that can go beyond pumpkin scones and enchiladas and fat suits to the heart of the matter which is idolatry.

A distrust that God can truly heal and that God alone can truly satisfy.

I will lay down flat on my back and let him do it.

I invite you to join me on this journey. I am sure it will be dreadful and delightful and I am terrified.

Decluttering is not for the faint of heart.

Next week I’ll be writing about Decluttering Part two: To lay it down


href="http://www.thesefiveofmineplustwo.net/search/label/A%20Handful%20of%20Heart" target="_blank">These Five of Mine
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...