Finding Joy on the Journey in Faith, Family, and all Things in Between.
I might have been the one that hurt you. I might have turned away a bit as you were sharing your story. I may have broken eye contact and glanced beyond you when you were talking, making you feel small and invisible. You might have flushed red as I excused myself with an empty smile and moved on. I might have used you when I thought I'd stand a little taller on your shoulders and ignored you … [Read more...]
It's been quiet around here lately. My mind full but my heart empty. I write close and soul deep and sometimes my bone marrow dries, the stuff where words settle in and gush onto the page with each pump of my heart. So I went to Jumping Tandem with weariness in my bones. With the ache of the overtired. A bit frustrated at the grace I'm trying to walk around in and sometimes find myself … [Read more...]
Dear Chihuahua of Fear, I remember when you used to hang around in my 5th grade classroom, sitting behind me as we recited the pledge of allegiance and I spread my thin palm across my already expanding chest. I remember when you whispered I didn't fit. Not just in the white cotton training bras but in life. I was old from youth, weathered already and tired. My almond-shaped eyes … [Read more...]
This is Part 2 of Anna's story: Sold Some content is graphic and may not be suitable for children or those whose own experiences may be triggered by images of abuse and trauma. Discretion should be used. While this story is fictional, the details involved in stories like this are not. So this was what it felt like to have your insides torn apart, ripping your soul through your limbs, feeling … [Read more...]
So I wrote the post. The hard one. The one that had sat in my soul for years but never put into words. But this was my chance. Somehow it felt easier to post it on a friend's blog. God and suffering. She had asked me to contribute a post. She loved the way I wrote about the pain and the beauty. I said yes. I would be honored. And then I thought of the suffering in my life. I paused over … [Read more...]
I was five when they told her I might die. My delicate spine bruised like a blooming flower in yellows and violets and then the dull brown of dying blood. It was this blood that was no good. The very thing we had in common. I lay in sterile pallor on the thin bed, crinkling under the sheet with the plastic covering, ready to be stripped down and reused again, should the bed be vacated by … [Read more...]
In honor of Valentines Day and our epic love affair, here's a post from last year that still captures it all. I love you, Josh. Dear Josh, It's May and someone is in love. The sun is hot and glistening on my naked shoulders. I am fresh, with a face like clean linen, shining eyes and dark lashes low and inspired. You smell like romance. Red roses without the … [Read more...]
If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies.... It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it. ~Albert Einstein When you consider girls selling their bodies each night for a chance to survive, each encounter robbing her a bit more of dignity, worth, and hope, getting … [Read more...]
Day 26: My Testimony: Which Bubble Do I Fill? I felt the red flush of embarrassment rise up my neck and fill my face with splotchy crimson blots. "Not a porch, stupid. A Porsche! Don't you know anything?" She cocked her head to one side, her strawberry blonde hair falling to the side as she wrinkled her freckled nose in distaste. I still had no idea what she was talking about. She had said … [Read more...]
She sits crisscrossed on the bed next to me. Tears have trailed down, dampening my pajama top, and it's her tiny hands with the chipped sparkly polish that push back my greasy hair and grasp at my cheeks. She turns my head to face her, still clutching softly with her fingers. "I'm sorry you're hurting so much, mommy." And my heart breaks anew. Tears keep flowing and I murmur thanks for her … [Read more...]
This weeks word: Quiet I stand quiet and still as the nurse pushes the small silver scale along looking for a balance that I have never found. She jots down the number on my chart. Asks me my height, fixes the cuff on my arm and I feel the constriction. The pressure pushing in on me. I hate doctors appointments. Partly because the role of patient is one I've had far too many times in my … [Read more...]
My fists are clenched. My first reaction, to rip the door open and release a torrent of verbal assault on these kids, is tempered by the fact that I am in fact an adult and a professing Christian. The neighbor boys, small and innocent looking, not much bigger than Kaia, stand on my doorstep. I tell them to leave, that Judah will not come out to 'play,' and that if they continue to come … [Read more...]
It's Friday. You know what that means. Five minutes fast and furious and uncut. This week's word: Identity “Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.” - Brennan Manning The letters are slanted slashing violently across the page. All sharp edges and fury. I've kept boxes full of journals stacking year upon year. So many pages … [Read more...]
As a semi-crazed book lover who gets euphoric over stacks of beautifully shelved rows of word filled pages, I was immediately drawn to my friend Anne's Book Carnival. Write about a book that changed your life. I knew immediately which book I would pick. It has truly changed my life and helped shape who I am, even down to the direction and vision for portions of this blog. I was … [Read more...]
I can hear the soft rustle of her feet as she pads sleepily down the hall. I see tiny hands with chipped pink polish, lifting the blankets edge and then the softest wisp of a breathe on the side of my cheek as she nestles into the curve of my arm and settles where my heart beats. She is so beautiful to me. Her soft hair flowing over the pillow. He pulls up on the bed, grasping with tiny … [Read more...]
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