Finding Joy on the Journey in Faith, Family, and all Things in Between.
My kids ran everywhere. Racing the shoreline and dipping their toes in the shallow pools that collected when the tide went out. Sun, hot and foreign to the Oregon coast danced on my bare shoulders. Our coast is a fickle mistress, quick to turn frigid in wind and wave. So when she beckoned at 80 degrees with full sun I scoured the internet for a rental house and last-minute deals. We packed for … [Read more...]
My foot always landed with part of my heel over the line or my toe inching into the next box. I blame the fact that my feet outgrew my body and while I jumped and landed solidly, my sturdy little frame balancing in the boxes, I always seemed to be not quite in the right spot when my feet touched the ground. We'd dump the carton of chalk, always white never the rainbow hues, and scratch out our … [Read more...]
I started this blog as a ministry to others. To share my stories and develop community here. I wanted to have a place to share what God was doing in my life. I wanted this to be a place where I was fearless. Where I could push past platitudes and be real and transparent. I had no idea this blog would minister to me more than to others. Last year at my blogging début, I chose one word … [Read more...]
I knew I would eventually get around to finishing my 31 days. I didn't know where this series would lead when I started it and I'm still not entirely sure but I know that during this season of depression, church has been on my mind a lot. These are some of those ramblings. Day 24 She sits at the corner booth, tucked away with a bowl of soup. The steam rises past her face and she concentrates … [Read more...]
There is something to be said about writing in and through. So many times we can't write out the words in the midst of our own pain, our own trials, and we are so immersed in our story that it's hard to get perspective enough to share it. And I get that. Sometimes we do need time to heal, to process, to let it breathe. But there is something about that perspective that is powerful which … [Read more...]
She sits crisscrossed on the bed next to me. Tears have trailed down, dampening my pajama top, and it's her tiny hands with the chipped sparkly polish that push back my greasy hair and grasp at my cheeks. She turns my head to face her, still clutching softly with her fingers. "I'm sorry you're hurting so much, mommy." And my heart breaks anew. Tears keep flowing and I murmur thanks for her … [Read more...]
This weeks word: Quiet I stand quiet and still as the nurse pushes the small silver scale along looking for a balance that I have never found. She jots down the number on my chart. Asks me my height, fixes the cuff on my arm and I feel the constriction. The pressure pushing in on me. I hate doctors appointments. Partly because the role of patient is one I've had far too many times in my … [Read more...]
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.. This weeks prompt: Graceful Full … [Read more...]
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.. OK, are you ready? Please give me … [Read more...]
It's Friday, which means I'm linked up with the Gypsy Mama doing my five minutes. This week was tough as you will see. Five minutes, no edited, no backtracking, no over thinking, no wrong, just write. 5 minutes on Expectation I wait for Lisa-Jo's prompt, like I do every Thursday at midnight, nine my time. But tonight my bones ache in my body like they're encased in soggy bedding, weighing me … [Read more...]
My smile is my umbrella. This silent smile, which hints at knowing some deep delicious secret. The smile that keeps people in their place and me in mine. It certainly doesn't invite further inquiry. What can you truly ask someone whose smile never falls? Who tells you it's all fine. It's always fine. Who makes you feel unprepared, ravaged by storm and nature and all things … [Read more...]
It's that time of the week again, when we let our words fly and take shape for the fun of it. 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking 2. Link back to The Gypsy Mama and invite others to join in. 3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. OK, are you ready? Give me your best five minutes … [Read more...]
My kids love to play Lego. I join them. We build other worlds in our imaginations. And I sit on the floor in front of their Lego tables criss-cross apple sauce as the kids say. My body can only take sitting on the floor for so long until my feet fall asleep. Completely numb. And when the Lego blocks are arranged and my life summons me to cook dinner, answer emails, or plan lessons; I emerge from … [Read more...]
I've already shared with you how I was to be the perfect mom with the perfect child, and we all know that turned into an epic fail. One of the catalysts to my realization that I wasn't enough, would never be enough, and actually needed to learn to ask for help was my ongoing struggle with depression. It has been both a brutal master and an eye-opening, soul cleansing journey. Judah was … [Read more...]
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