Finding Joy on the Journey in Faith, Family, and all Things in Between.
My kids ran everywhere. Racing the shoreline and dipping their toes in the shallow pools that collected when the tide went out. Sun, hot and foreign to the Oregon coast danced on my bare shoulders. Our coast is a fickle mistress, quick to turn frigid in wind and wave. So when she beckoned at 80 degrees with full sun I scoured the internet for a rental house and last-minute deals. We packed for … [Read more...]
Dear Chihuahua of Fear, I remember when you used to hang around in my 5th grade classroom, sitting behind me as we recited the pledge of allegiance and I spread my thin palm across my already expanding chest. I remember when you whispered I didn't fit. Not just in the white cotton training bras but in life. I was old from youth, weathered already and tired. My almond-shaped eyes … [Read more...]
If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies.... It would be a sad situation if the wrapper were better than the meat wrapped inside it. ~Albert Einstein When you consider girls selling their bodies each night for a chance to survive, each encounter robbing her a bit more of dignity, worth, and hope, getting … [Read more...]
Day 26: My Testimony: Which Bubble Do I Fill? I felt the red flush of embarrassment rise up my neck and fill my face with splotchy crimson blots. "Not a porch, stupid. A Porsche! Don't you know anything?" She cocked her head to one side, her strawberry blonde hair falling to the side as she wrinkled her freckled nose in distaste. I still had no idea what she was talking about. She had said … [Read more...]
Sometimes it's uncomfortable to know they have read the very inner workings of your madness, your depravity, your grief. Sometimes your joy isn't yours alone but is shared with those who you've never even seen. And you wonder at it all. Where a click of a mouse can mean your life spread open. You want this, you've asked for it. Community, and being known, real and whole and true. And you wonder … [Read more...]
We drove the windy road to his grandmas house. And I festered. My soul black and ugly, scarred by bitterness and resentment. My baby boy, only 4 months old, strapped snugly into his new car seat. One of the only new things we had received at his birth. We were young and although we had planned and prayed for this baby, we hadn't had money to purchase new things. Friends blessed us with hand me … [Read more...]
He's stomping. The heel walk thudding up the stairs. I hear his door close. Not slammed because he knows better but loud enough to display his surly temper. And I wonder at this eleven year old man-child, so like me in his temperament and yet I find myself constantly at odds with him. I go to his room. Pursue him. I am right in this. I am his mother and my decision won't change regardless … [Read more...]
To my beautiful little girl, Kaia Listen close, because this is something every girl should know. This is something that so few of us make it into adulthood really believing. But I tell you, my lovely princess, you are heart wrenchingly beautiful. I tell you every day because you need to know this in your core. You are beautiful because of the image you bear. You are beautiful because your … [Read more...]
You know the drill. We write for 5 minutes flat with no second guessing, backtracking, or overthinking. We write for the pleasure of the clacking keys and the release of our words. Then we link up at The Gypsy Mama and enjoy what others have shared. Join us. This weeks word is Empty. Ready Go. I began this year with a blank screen and a burning desire to fill the pages with my story. This … [Read more...]
I am leaving to go to a women's blogging conference today. Blissdom will commence Thursday, after 700 women of all different backgrounds, writing styles, blog niches, and outfits converge on Nashville,Tennessee. The twitter boards are alive and jumping with nervous anticipation and excitement. And fear. So much fear. Many of the women in my #Blissdomnewbies group have never been to a … [Read more...]
He tells me I'm beautiful. Whispers it to me as we snuggle on the couch, smooths back my hair. I look down. Fourteen years and I still doubt these words. Maybe doubt them more now than ever. I don't see it. What he says he still sees. What he pleads with me to understand and accept. There is a comfort now. An intimacy born out of long years filled with sorrows etched deep, joy brimming, and oh, … [Read more...]
The awkward silence descends. Everyone fidgets and I begin to hear crickets in the background. The question volleyed into this space of women is "What is your element, how did God make you?" No one wants to go first. For some it may be that they truly don't know. Don't see the worth buried in them, placed there by their maker. For others it may be the awkwardness of listing all your qualities … [Read more...]
Some of the first advice I received years ago as a first time mom was "pick your battles." Being a first time mom, I was determined to do an amazing job. I read the parenting books. I got this, I thought. I watched the temper tantrums that occurred in grocery checkouts over skittles and lollipops and vowed that my child would be well-disciplined, respectful, and obedient. I couldn't … [Read more...]
Often, I forget the purpose of educating my children. I lose perspective and see it as a daunting task filled with chapters to be read, reports to write, phonics to sound out, number charts to memorize. I get caught up in the mundane. The teaching of ordinary stuff. I am drowning under waves of lesson plans, memorization, and the constant need to prod my children along in their learning. … [Read more...]
Can encouragement cause despair? There are a lot of things God has put in my life for encouragement. I have struggled with depression and know the importance of seeking out encouragement. I have two very dear sisters-in-law that are my closest friends. I have a wonderful tight-knit relationship with my mother and an intimate group of close girlfriends who encourage, motivate, and inspire me. And … [Read more...]
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