The first step of any introduction is always the hardest. Ok, well maybe that’s not always true because I have had some stellar awkward moments after the, “Hello, my name is Alia…,” but usually it’s true.
To avoid awkward moments in my middle school years, and ok, I admit it, even more recently than that, I appear distracted. This is the key to not seeming alone in an unfamiliar group or club. I would be searching my backpack for something, eyebrows knit in earnest concentration, while I rummaged about avoiding eye contact with those around me. Or I’d pretend to be working on something or make it seem like I was in a hurry and dash off to avoid being left out.
As you may have noticed from past posts, I have a thing (I’m working on it) about being needy or asking for help. It’s an issue.
But when you’re an 11-year-old girl wanting to belong, walking up and introducing yourself is pretty much the same as saying, “Please don’t reject me.” And since I wasn’t open to being rejected, I was busy, or pretending to be.
Vulnerability is hard and you’re always a bit exposed when you are meeting someone new, even as an adult. One woman had told of a blog conference she went to where she went up, introduced herself and offered her business card to which the other bigger blogger replied, “no, thank you. ” AWKWARD. But then, I thought about that. And the truth is, if someone is like that, I don’t want to know them anyway. They don’t deserve to read my blog and I certainly don’t want to have anything to do with theirs no matter how great they can write or design. Kindness goes a long way in my book.
So, when I was preparing for Blissdom, I addressed these thoughts in my mind and I came to a very freeing conclusion. I’m not that 11-year-old girl anymore. I grew up beyond the mean girls and the cliques and the quest for inclusion. I have a fabulous husband, wonderful kids, grace from God for all my mess and a passion as a writer to meet and connect with others. And it was from that encouraged, loved on place that I arrived at Blissdom.
And I thank God for that clarity of thought and vision before I left because I noticed when people looked busy. Although, instead of searching into their Guess backpack, they were texting into their phone, or wandering around doing the half mouth smile but never really engaging with anyone or staring at the hotel map, for a reeeeeaaaally long time.
And I knew, because that used to be me.
It only takes one person to say hi, and take an interest in you to make you feel you belong. And I was glad to be that person. Maybe it made the beginning a bit less awkward for someone. I saw several people who were so nervous, completely having the time of their lives by the second day. And the thing that was great about Blissdom was that I wasn’t the only one introducing myself to people who didn’t seem to know anyone. Most people were genuinely friendly and inviting.
I am not one for big crowds, and small talk with hundreds of people is beyond exhausting, but I already know I’m an introvert and I need alone time to function well and play nice. I took regular breaks and wandered around by myself or went to my room to sit and breathe and drink a coffee in between the sessions. I excused myself from the night events obscenely early and was in bed on granny time but it gave me enough solitude that the times I did meet other bloggers were exciting, not exhausting.
I also got to hear some dynamic speakers in their field. I attended two MeRaKoh Photography sessions and the woman is amazing as is her spectacular work. Who knew I would cry during a photography session so much?
I went to Jeff Goins, Michael Hyatt, and my friend Tsh Oxenreider’s sessions on writing and developing a life plan and they all left me with things to ponder and add, and even a few things to disagree with. As is right in line with my feisty old self.
But I still think my favorite was the keynote by Jon Acuff of Stuff Christians Like, and not just because he gave us all a signed copy of his new book, Quitter. He had me laughing, prioritizing my family and blogging, and thinking about the platform and responsibility I have with my voice.
And even though the sessions were really good and I learned a lot from them and the community leaders, I still think my favorite thing about Blissdom was the relationships. I just met the most amazing gals. These women made my time at Blissdom really special with great conversation, a familiar face in the hall or at a table, or a super warm greeting.
Fun at the Lorax Party
- Laura Oyer from In the Backyard
- Megan Tietz from Sorta Crunchy
- Emily McClements from Live Renewed
- Maggie S from Accidentally by Design
- Ellen Evans from Bloom Maternity and Hip Vegetarian
- Andrea Howe from Four Flights of Fancy
- Anne Bogel from Modern Mrs. Darcy
- Alison Little from aPearantly Sew (who was also my roomie the first night)
- Michelle from Some Girls Website
- Lindsay Hartz from A New Life
- Virginia from Geeky and Sassy
That kind of felt like an Oscar speech and I’m sure to have missed someone because there were countless other women I met, ate with, sat by, and traded cards with that I’m looking forward to getting to know online this year that I didn’t get to mention here.
Either way, the whole experience inspired and motivated, challenged and reassured me, to pursue what I love to do… This. Writing. Stuff.
So a huge heartfelt thanks to all you wonderful people I met, but especially to all my faithful readers, commenters, and cheerer onners (is so a word, trust me, I’m a writer) that make this such a blessing to do.
I’m so proud to know a woman like you who never stops having the courage to look deep inside and make that change. You are one of the bravest and most authentic person I know.
Sharon recently posted..Courage Under Fire
Awww, Sharon, you’re gonna make me cry. Thanks sweetie. Even though I haven’t seen you in over 15 years, I feel like old friends who’ve never really been apart.
You’re making me want to go back to Nashville! (Although you all would have to come too, or there would be no point.)
I still have trouble believing you’re an introvert! Although after reading this post, I think I understand it more…you’re an introvert, but you’ve allowed yourself to be grown and stretched and matured to the point where you can reach beyond your natural tendencies, while still respecting your own need for re-charging and decompressing. That’s so inspiring to me, as I still struggle greatly with those things. You rock, my friend!
Laura recently posted..On bedtime questions and life after death
My friends at home would probably see me as an introvert much easier because I am a homebody and I like to hang out with people but any crowd over about 8 and I feel overwhelmed and exhausted. I feel most comfortable in groups of 3 or 4 who I know well or who I have a lot in common with. At Blissdom, I knew I had a limited amount of time to meet people and network and get all my money’s worth so to speak. So, I knew from the beginning that I would be out of my normal comfort zone. I never used to be able to go into groups without knowing anyone and just be ok. That’s come as I’ve gotten older and more comfortable about who I am. I was a wreck in my twenties. By my 40′s I’ll be a wild woman. lol
This is so fun to read, Alia, and I’m so glad I got to meet you at Blissdom! You are so sweet and kind and fun and I’m so happy to know you. I’m with Laura on the introvert thing, I never would have guessed (even though I’m one too! I’m going to copy your management strategies for next time, I think.)
Count me among the cheerer onners as you pursue this Writing Stuff
Hope you’re recovering from the conference and feeling well again.
Anne recently posted..Sneaky Smoothies: How I Became a Blender-Wielding Vitamin Pusher
See you don’t seem like an introvert either. At least not in the stereotypical way. And without those times, I never would’ve survived the whole conference. On Saturday afternoon, I was feeling really thrashed but I had things I had committed to so I had to keep going. But I curled into a ball on Saturday when it was all over and felt so bone tired, I could have slept for days. And thanks, I could always use more vocal cheerer onners
Omigooness!!! First of all, I am SO unworthy to be included in that beautiful company of bloggers!
I think what makes you so amazing is how simply you describe that interior experience. Thank you so much for being easy to walk up to and reaching out to me.
Maggie S. recently posted..A (nother) Break In the Action
Nonsense. You are a writer, I am a writer, they are writers. It hasn’t been a simple process over the years. I used to be extremely insecure and I would just act confident and then people would think I was, to the point that a lot of people thought I was stuck up. But it wasn’t until the past few years when God has been working on my finding my identity in Him that I’ve really started to be more comfortable with who I am. And I’m so glad I got to meet you. You were always a friendly face in the crowd there.
Alia … Sounds like a positive experience you had. We all need those times to encourage us toward the goal. You write well!
Julie, Thanks, I had a great time. I can always count on you to leave a note or comment of encouragement for me. I so appreciate it. Love you.
I appreciate this post and your insight on Blissdom. I just got a ticket for Allume in October. I am super excited but also nervous. And it’s months away! This was helpful and encouraging to read. Happy to you had a great time!
I am going to Allume in October too so when I see you, I will track you down and say “hi.” This is exciting. I know a few people that may be there that I met briefly at Blissdom but most will be new faces again. Or new faces that I’ve read forever and am in awe of. Either way, I’m sure it will be really fun.
I so relate to everything you’ve written. I’ve learned how to manage being an introvert as well, giving myself the freedom and acceptance to be alone and sit out of some events.
It’s always a pleasant surprise when I walk up to strangers at Blissdom and introduce myself and find that they are very welcoming and embracing. I always wait for and expect that rejection, but you won’t find that, usually, at Blissdom. It’s an engaging environment.
Your writing is beautiful. Thanks for sharing. ~ Valerie
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Valerie, thanks for visiting my blog. Too bad I missed meeting you at Blissdom this year. There are an astonishing number of creative, artistic, writing introverted bloggers out there. I am actually surprised how many. Although, it makes sense when you think of the contemplative nature of blogging and the alone time it takes to do but you’re so right about acceptance and freedom when you just need to take a break.
I am so, SO glad we met and got to be roomies for a night!
Me too. It was such a fun time.
How did I miss your sweet article? It was so nice to meet you! Don’t you wish we could have a monthly (free) bloggers meetup
Virginia recently posted..5 Blissful Blogging Tips ~
Virginia, that would be lovely! I wish.
Alia,
I totally agree with you that while the sessions and speakers were amazing, the best part of Blissdom was the awesome people I met and relationships I formed. And some of my very favorites were ladies like you, who I hadn’t heard of, and didn’t even know I wanted to meet beforehand, but made such a wonderful impression on me! It was such a joy meeting you – dinner with you, Megan, and Laura was definitely one of my highlights! And I am loving your blog, friend. You are the kind of writer that I just sit back and think, Wow! I wish I could write like that! It touches my heart! Keep it up!
Emily @ Live Renewed recently posted..Heathy Green Pregnancy Giveaway — Two Healthy Eating Ebooks!
Emily, Oh, you’re making me miss it. Yes, I think dinner was my favorite time there. I am so glad to have met all of you. Thanks so much for the encouragement about my blog. That means the world to me, really.