To my beautiful girl on her 7th birthday.
My sweet Kaia,
This week, you will be seven. Burning in my heart are the things I long for you to know as you get older and blossom into a young woman. My hope is that you will return to these birthday letters as you grow and it will remind you of your mother’s love and desires for her most precious little girl. These are my words to you this year as you turn seven.
You are kind. Don’t ever lose that. This world will try to rob you of that quality. It will tell you that you need to think of yourself first. It will tell you that the hurts you get in this life would be less if you hardened your heart and didn’t let it feel such empathy. This world will tell you that to get ahead you need to toughen up. This world will tell you that it’s only important to be kind to those who treat you well. That you are not required to be kind to everyone. It will tell you that kindness makes you weak and easy to take advantage of.
But I tell you, sweet girl, that to get ahead in God’s economy, you are doing it right. You never grab candy at the bank, stickers from the doctor’s office, or a treat at the store without getting some for your brothers, even when they’re not there to see, even when they don’t thank you as they should. You never enjoy anything without wishing your friends were there to share in it. You let others play with your new toy, even before you’ve had a chance yourself. You graciously let others take their turn first, even when they pushed you to get in front. Your joy seems incomplete until you have someone to share it with, even when it means less for you.
Don’t let yourself become jaded by the ways of this world. Continue to be a good friend, thinking of their needs and serving them. Continue to be a peacemaker, and as much as possible, try to get along with everyone. This is not the same thing as saying try to please everyone. Don’t even bother, you will never please everyone and those who seek to make everyone happy, sell their authenticity for approval. People pleasers are the most tragic kind of fraud, because not only are they fake to others, they also rob themselves of the opportunity for real community, bearing one another’s burdens, and messy grace.
Being a peacemaker means you’re willing to relinquish your personal rights when you seek to understand another person. You are willing to listen, you are willing to try to see things through God lenses, you are willing to compromise on things that you want in order to protect relationships and people.
Being a peacemaker does not mean compromising on the things of God. That’s why it’s so important to know what the foundational things are. They are not which version of the Bible you read, whether you own a TV or homeschool, or if you vote Republican. Learn the difference. But of the true things, on those, stand firm.
Keep your feet planted in His word, and stand up for justice. Don’t let someone be bullied and friendless when you are around. Don’t ignore the tugging at your conscience when God is willing you to speak up against something that’s not right. Stand up and raise your voice about things that God cares about. Do not be afraid to offend people in these things, because the truth is, the gospel is offensive to this world.
Remember when you were in ballet and Miss Emily had you practice spinning around and each time you had a spot on the wall you were supposed to focus on as you turned? What happens if you don’t whip your head around and find that one spot? You get dizzy and fall down. Please God. Please Him alone and don’t worry about the rest. Let Him be your one spot. Let His be the only approval you seek. It’s the only way to keep your footing. It’s the only way to make your dance beautiful.
Join me for Wednesday’s post: Letters to my Daughter: On Being Beautiful
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Awww…I am not even sure what to say. Such sweetness and truth.
Kathi recently posted..What You May Have Missed
Thanks Kathi. You know what it’s like being a mom to all your girls. There’s so much that you want them to know and believe about themselves and God. And these are just words, but their meaning will change her life if she gets it. Praying hard.
Gosh, I’m all choked up. Your daughter will no doubt treasure your love and the truth this beautiful letter holds!
You and me both. I sat down to write this letter and I ended up breaking it into 3 separate posts/letters because it was almost 2000 words, and I cried through parts of it. Love being a momma to my sweet girl. Thanks for reading my blog, I appreciate your comments.
Lovely my friend. This will be treasured by her later in life. Great words of wisdom.
DK Stangeland recently posted..Tourist Office – What a difference a neighborhood makes
Thanks Debi, I pray that she will take it in. I can’t believe how fast she’s grown. My heart is so full.
Alia, what precious thoughts to look back on as she grows older! hope you are feeling a lot better, Aunt Julie
Thanks Julie, I am finally starting to feel better.
There’s a part of me that envies little Kaia. My parents, being old-world Europe, Grapes of Wrath immigrant types more than heartfelt affirmers have struggled sharing their love for their children. It is such a blessing to see how treasured she is.
I have so enjoyed getting to know your beautiful girl this year. She’s grown so much. She even came up and prayed yesterday! You are passing on a legacy to her.
Heidi, my parents were always very affirming but I still had so much trouble believing what they told me about myself. I see that you are very tender towards your boys and you are leaving them with a firm knowledge of your love. I do treasure her. My heart almost can’t contain it. She prayed up front! Love it.
I needed these lines today… thank you!! … visiting from Write it, Girl!
“Please God. Please Him alone and don’t worry about the rest. Let Him be your one spot. Let His be the only approval you seek. It’s the only way to keep your footing. It’s the only way to make your dance beautiful.”
Julie Anne, thanks for visiting. I am really enjoying ready everyone’s posts and seeing where God is at work. I am glad God used these words to encourage you. Blessings to you as you find your footing in this beautiful dance.
Oh, this is so beautiful – and such wise words for your daughter. What a great idea to do this for her – something she will treasure, even more as she grows older. Thanks for sharing your words with us online …
Cherry recently posted..The Time Has Come
Cherry, I’ve been writing letters to all of my children at different times and I do hope they will be treasured by her as she gets older. Thanks for visiting.
This is beautiful. What a treasure of a post that you are leaving for you daughter- a legacy. I loved reading this, and it prompts me to write to my boys,
Blessings to you – you are a beautiful writer and mother.
Denise In Bloom recently posted..Will You Dare To Dream With Me?
Denise, Your words mean so much to me. Thank you.
What a loving testament to your daughter. I can see her years from now, as she is parenting her own daughter, eyes lovingly reading the treasured letter yet again, reminding her how dearly she is loved by her parents and her God.
You are raising a beautiful girl, indeed, and you are an inspiration to other moms as well!
Kim recently posted..5 Ways to create margin in your life
Kim, thank you so much for visiting here and for your encouraging words. I hope she will always know these truths. I’m kind of in love with her.
I write to my children often on my own blog. This is a beautiful letter to your daughter. I’m sending you two links to letters of mine you might enjoy…
http://www.turquoisegates.com/2012/01/lament-for-eldest.html
http://www.turquoisegates.com/2010/12/to-my-youngest-daughter-on-her-weaning.html
Thanks for visiting here Genevieve. I do read your blog often and have so enjoyed the things you share there. I always come with a box of tissues handy as your writing tends to inspire tears. I love the glimpses of God’s perfect will, grace, and provision in the midst of the pain and trials you have encountered. Thanks for sharing. Your words are a blessing.
Love this! So precious – what a gift for your girl.
Jamie @ Six Bricks High recently posted..Gray Gave Way to Blue
Thanks Jamie, love having you here visiting my space.
Thank you for visiting my blog today. I love your post to your daughter. She is adorable and she is lucky that her mom wrote this for her to read over and over…when she needs encouragement or to remember how loved she is…just precious.
Dionne, Thanks for visiting here too. I’m really enjoying seeing everyone’s different posts. It is my hope she will always know our love.
I have a “Kaia”! My Kaia is 4. She is a twin. I also write letters, or descriptions to each child on their bdays! I’m excited for them to look back one day and read them. Enjoy your new 7 year old! I know one day she will be encouraged by your words.
Aubrey, When we named her it was pretty rare but we’re hearing it a lot more now. We actually had a neighbor that had the same first and middle name as our Kaia. Such a weird coincidence. I’m sure your kids will enjoy your words from each year as they get older. Is Kaia your oldest? What is your other twin’s name? Just curious since you obviously have good taste.
We are hearing it more and more as well. We actually heard first from the MTV show Real World before we were married. Super spiritual! But then we discovered that it means “pure” so we go with that! The twins names are Kaia Grace and Theia (pronounced Tay-uh) Penelope. They are identical, Kaia is older by 2 min. Our oldest is Mason Samuel and he is 6. What is your Kaia’s middle name?
aubrey recently posted..It’s a hard job.
Ha, really? Yes, I think I’d stick with “pure” also.
Kaia’s middle name is Jordan after my brother. Which is why it was so weird. It’s not a super common girl name so it was crazy.
Oh my friend… I so love this!!! So.LOVE! I love that this is an actual letter that you will put in a pile and pass on to her in real life one day! Makes me want to write some things down ‘old school’ and fold it up for another day too! And this: “Please God. Please Him alone and don’t worry about the rest. Let Him be your one spot. Let His be the only approval you seek. It’s the only way to keep your footing. It’s the only way to make your dance beautiful.” Wow… just wow!!! Such wisdom and grace!
~Karrilee~ recently posted..Transitional Shifting…
I have always loved this letter to Kaia. Thank you for writing with us today, girlie. I was happy that it wasn’t complete crickets.
Kathi recently posted..First House