Something always proceeds greatness and I was trying to think of a time when I achieved something worthy of the name progress.
There is only one thing.
The thing that has always gone before me.
The thing that has strengthened my spine tall to face challenges. The thing that has set my eyes on a clear path. The thing that whispered to me in the quiet hiss of doubt and shouted deep into my pride with the booming voice of true majesty.
I have erected alters. Stacked stone words high to remember.
At each point when I have been redeemed, rescued, raised up to face the Goliaths that seem to taunt my dreams, my God, my calling, I have placed these words down in remembrance. Because my mind grows lazy with the keeping of His glory.
When trials come and waves crash violently and I hear the wood creak and groan and I know at any moment I will be pitched over to drown in the churning dark, how quickly I forget His calming voice. But for the burning altar.
A journal of prayers both answered and asked. Some resolved with the parting of seas and some with a still small voice.
My father used to preach on the cost and process of making a disciple.
In three points, he would explain that God gives us a promise. That is the seed of passion planted deep and budding forth. The stuff where dreams live.
Then comes the problem. The choking weeds, the glaring sun, the drought, the blasts of arctic air scorching the ground with frost. And this is where dreams die. Because if we don’t plant those dreams deep they have no chance.
“The task must be made difficult, for only the difficult inspires the noble-hearted.” ― Soren Kierkegaard
If we persevere, we get the promise. But we can’t get here without going there. Show me a man who has been handed everything and I’ll show you one who doesn’t deserve it.
This may seem like a heresy that flies in the face of grace but it is no contradiction. For it is by grace, that God as both savior and Lord, refines us. We are in effect ransomed from our very selves and set apart for Him. God would not be so cruel as to leave us to our own devices.
God can make all of our dreams come true. He doesn’t hold back because He is not a kind master. He holds back because in the pursuit we become like Him. The goal is our good accomplished by the process it takes to chase down God Sized Dreams.
If this is so, then it is never in sheer will or application that we aspire to accomplish them.
The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”- Soren Kierkegaard
It is by prayer that we commune and consume the very breath of God’s words and will.
It is on bended knees that we find the strength to stand. It is in our silent moments with God that we find the words to speak before the masses. It is in our moments of prayer that He paves the way to follow Him.
If I retrace the glimpses of glory along the way, every move of God in my life has been proceeded with prayer. Always with prayer. When I pray, it changes my heart. It changes my focus. It makes God sized Dreams possible. I have prayed this before and I still lack, but Lord, make me a woman who prays.
Our goal this week in pursuit of our God sized dreams was to think back on another time when you took positive action in your life. Look back on progress made in the past and find a repeatable step in there.
This —-> “God can make all of our dreams come true. He doesn’t hold back because He is not a kind master. He holds back because in the pursuit we become like Him.” and “It is in our moments of prayer that He paves the way to follow Him.” So grateful to you for this reminder… a reminder I need everyday… and so glad to be pursuing Him with you friend.
Tonya Salomons recently posted..God-sized Dreams – Facing Fears
Thank you Tonya. I’m glad to be on the same path with such good company.
Hi Alia,
Your writing is so poetic and lovely. Great reminders hit my heart thank you so much!
*Sarah*
Thank you Sarah, you’re sweet. I’m glad they spoke to you.
First of all, I do agree with Sarah (above). Your writing is lovely and poetic. I enjoy it so much.
However, I’m really going through a bad spell of depression right now, and this post is thought provoking.
“If we persevere, we get the promise.”
Why do we only get the promise in heaven? Why do the evil seem so victorious now? Why is God so far away? Proverbs 13:12 tells us that it is the deferring of hope that makes our hearts sick, and that the fulfillment of longing is like a life-giving tree. I’m tired of being heartsick. I’m worn out. I don’t feel like I’m getting any of my longings fulfilled.
“He doesn’t hold back because He is not a kind master. He holds back because in the pursuit we become like Him.”
I guess I’m to the point where I can no longer see how I’m becoming more like Him. If anything, I’m becoming LESS like Him. Grumbling, tired, and bitter. If He’s really on my side, and all things are supposed to be working out for my good, why isn’t that happening? Seriously, I’m forty-seven. How much longer do I have to wait?
I don’t have a God-sized dream. I don’t have any dream anymore. Why bother? Everything is ashes and I’m tired of the sand and dust in my mouth.
Cynthia recently posted..Unashamed
Oh Cynthia, I am so sorry you are struggling so very hard right now. Know that while I can’t know everything going on with you (only God knows that), I do empathize deeply with that oppressive depression. I have been there many times, most recently a very hard season indeed. I think there is a promise in heaven for sure, the hope of a full redemption and union with God where there will be no more pain or death or depression but even more immediate is the promise that we are not alone in our afflictions. That we are in fellowship as we suffer with a God who not only gets it but has taken it all on. If God was not this way, I couldn’t worship Him because He would indeed be far removed from my pain and trials. But because of the life he lived, I know that He gets me.
I also don’t think that having trials and persevering through them means we are automatically shaped into His image. What could be seen as a stepping stone in someone’s life, a tool God used to bring them closer to Him, could be a stumbling block in another’s.
I know that when trials came earlier in my life, I was very bitter, angry, hurt, and tired. I still have so much baggage from the years the locusts ate but I believe in a God who redeems. It takes surrender and repentance and faith. It takes a realization that we come with nothing, are owed nothing, deserve nothing, and yet still He blesses us. It may not seem like it. I know when I have been severely depressed for long periods of times, I haven’t felt that way but during those times, I cling very hard and close to truth.
I don’t know what kind of help you have sought or are currently getting in regards to your mental health but I do know that experienced counselors, and doctors have made a huge difference in the very worst of times.
I know it feels like hell right now an you can’t fathom the goodness that He has for you but it is there. You are never too old for God to work, there is never a past due time when you should’ve been more together or godly. There is just the reality of where you are and the fact that God loves and adores and cherishes you just as you are. He loves you too much to want you to just survive. He wants you whole.
I am praying for you, Cynthia. I am so sorry you are hurting.
Thanks. It always helps to know that people are praying, and I know they are. It’s just hard, and you know that (I know you know that, from reading other posts by you). The absolutely, positively, totally hardest part is the ever-so-slow feeling that things are coming together, maybe–only to have the rug ripped out from under my feet yet again.
I know it’s probably not your God-sized dream to have someone posting the kind of I’m-Not-Happy-With-Jesus right now things I am, but I do want you to know that you’re postings are very encouraging. God is good, and God is faithful, even when I can’t really see it.
Thank you for never being afraid to share your struggles.
Cynthia recently posted..Dreamless
Don’t ever feel that I wouldn’t want honest heart torn words here. This is what this place is. What I hoped it would be from the very first time I hit submit on a post. I want to share the hope I have in Christ and sometimes that means admitting the doubts and fears and hard times. God is big and He knows our deepest places anyway. I think our faith should grow big enough to wrestle with these things knowing that God is faithful even when we don’t feel it. I know for certain that admitting my failings, doubts, and weakness during the hardest times and having people commit to praying for me daily was huge and continues to be huge in my life. HUGE! And Cynthia, believe it or not, this is part of my God Sized Dream, that God would take all of my former things and current things and the sum total and use me to point to Him and what he’s done in my life. So, really, it couldn’t be more fitting. Love to you, friend.