Comments on: I want to educate my children: Don’t parent out of pride http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/ Finding Joy on the Journey in Faith, Family, and all Things in Between. Fri, 18 May 2012 22:34:19 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Four Reasons Not to Praise Your Kids - Narrow Paths to Higher Places http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-2408 Four Reasons Not to Praise Your Kids - Narrow Paths to Higher Places Thu, 17 May 2012 21:34:44 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-2408 [...] should always be motivated by the heart intent of building them up for their own good. We should never criticize out of our pride or to live vicariously through our children’s [...] [...] should always be motivated by the heart intent of building them up for their own good. We should never criticize out of our pride or to live vicariously through our children’s [...]

]]> By: I want to educate my children: The one battle that’s worth fighting. - Narrow Paths to Higher Places http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-971 I want to educate my children: The one battle that’s worth fighting. - Narrow Paths to Higher Places Mon, 19 Mar 2012 08:10:12 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-971 [...] may seem like I am flip-flopping between my last post and this one. That first I say, “Relax, pick your battles,” and now I am saying, [...] [...] may seem like I am flip-flopping between my last post and this one. That first I say, “Relax, pick your battles,” and now I am saying, [...]

]]> By: Who will cast the deciding vote? How to focus your priorities. - Narrow Paths to Higher Places http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-333 Who will cast the deciding vote? How to focus your priorities. - Narrow Paths to Higher Places Sun, 19 Feb 2012 22:27:35 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-333 [...] want to educate  my [...] [...] want to educate  my [...]

]]> By: My Struggle with Depression: When depression is white - Narrow Paths to Higher Places http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-299 My Struggle with Depression: When depression is white - Narrow Paths to Higher Places Thu, 16 Feb 2012 03:25:24 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-299 [...] already shared with you how I was to be the perfect mom with the perfect child, and we all know that turned into an epic fail. One of the catalysts to my realization that I [...] [...] already shared with you how I was to be the perfect mom with the perfect child, and we all know that turned into an epic fail. One of the catalysts to my realization that I [...]

]]> By: Alia Joy http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-281 Alia Joy Sat, 11 Feb 2012 08:08:32 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-281 I am sorry that you're grieved by my treatment on this subject. Know that my heart isn't to ridicule him for the natural tendency of his flesh, which I agree, we are so inclined to. But rather, to shed light on the fact that not only was he doing what came naturally to him, he was being trained to do so. Yes, we are all sinful selfish creatures. We desire our own glory. Which is why I think it is so essential as mothers to really pursue God's heart in all that we try to instill in them. Not just the law but the grace from which we should be motivated. I can truly say that it is as much an admonishment to myself as it is to anyone else. When we parent out of a place that focuses solely on outward behavior, usually due to our own pride and insecurities, instead of focusing on God's grace stirring true conviction and repentance, we produce hypocrisy. While my words may have sounded harsh, I believe that hypocrisy is one of the cancers within the body of Christ and self righteousness is one of the worst forms of idolatry because it blinds us to our sin and our need for a savior. We may not even realize that we have so utterly missed the mark. The Pharisees considered themselves above reproach but Jesus saw the wickedness in them. Also, this boy did not get his ideation from his own thoughts but from a systematic teaching of the difference between the sinners and the saved. The good guys do this and the bad guys do that, failing to see that we are all bad guys. There is none righteous, no not one. Our righteousness is accounted to us only through Christ's blood, nothing more. My only hope was to inspire questioning of our motives when we decide which things we should spend most of our energy on. I hope that clarifies my heart on the subject. I appreciate you sharing your concern and although I may disagree to an extent, I do hope that I haven't offended you. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts. I am sorry that you’re grieved by my treatment on this subject. Know that my heart isn’t to ridicule him for the natural tendency of his flesh, which I agree, we are so inclined to. But rather, to shed light on the fact that not only was he doing what came naturally to him, he was being trained to do so. Yes, we are all sinful selfish creatures. We desire our own glory. Which is why I think it is so essential as mothers to really pursue God’s heart in all that we try to instill in them. Not just the law but the grace from which we should be motivated. I can truly say that it is as much an admonishment to myself as it is to anyone else. When we parent out of a place that focuses solely on outward behavior, usually due to our own pride and insecurities, instead of focusing on God’s grace stirring true conviction and repentance, we produce hypocrisy. While my words may have sounded harsh, I believe that hypocrisy is one of the cancers within the body of Christ and self righteousness is one of the worst forms of idolatry because it blinds us to our sin and our need for a savior. We may not even realize that we have so utterly missed the mark. The Pharisees considered themselves above reproach but Jesus saw the wickedness in them. Also, this boy did not get his ideation from his own thoughts but from a systematic teaching of the difference between the sinners and the saved. The good guys do this and the bad guys do that, failing to see that we are all bad guys. There is none righteous, no not one. Our righteousness is accounted to us only through Christ’s blood, nothing more. My only hope was to inspire questioning of our motives when we decide which things we should spend most of our energy on. I hope that clarifies my heart on the subject. I appreciate you sharing your concern and although I may disagree to an extent, I do hope that I haven’t offended you. Thanks for taking the time to share your thoughts.

]]> By: jj hanks http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-274 jj hanks Sat, 11 Feb 2012 01:50:29 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-274 "When Judah was in the kindergarten class at our church, I volunteered to teach in the Sunday school. There was one particular boy who was homeschooled. His parents obviously spent a lot of time teaching him. He was like a pint-sized theologian who had some sort of talent for knowing every Bible story in-depth. He always had the memory verse to recite. He raised his hand at every question. He followed orders and lined up when I told him to. He said, “Yes, Mrs. Hagenbach,” when he was asked to do something. He called people sir and ma’am. He always said, “Please and thank you.” He irked me. Granted he was five and surely his parents were somewhat to blame for his impeccable manners but still. You might think it strange that I was bothered by such a display of obedience but the truth is, he was self-righteous, even at five. Outwardly, I could find no obvious fault. But he smirked when someone else got the answer wrong or stumbled over a verse only to shoot up his hand to remedy the error. He elaborated on the Bible stories with fact after fact but didn’t get along with the other kids. He admonished the other kids in class if they spoke of a tv show they had seen or video games they had played. He told everyone that his parents didn’t believe in tv, or sugar, or public school. Constantly implying that you were somehow less righteous if you did watch cartoons, eat ice cream or were not home schooled. His parents were raising a pharisee." *****It makes me sad the way you have described this boy. There is no grace in your tone or words for him or his parents. It is so easy for 5 year olds to be little pharisees, as it is for 40 year olds to be big ones. I hope that you can reread what you have written and see how it may sound. I agree with much of what you have said but this portion takes over. Let's not all pounce on this poor 5 year old that is doing what comes so naturally to man. “When Judah was in the kindergarten class at our church, I volunteered to teach in the Sunday school. There was one particular boy who was homeschooled. His parents obviously spent a lot of time teaching him. He was like a pint-sized theologian who had some sort of talent for knowing every Bible story in-depth. He always had the memory verse to recite. He raised his hand at every question. He followed orders and lined up when I told him to. He said, “Yes, Mrs. Hagenbach,” when he was asked to do something. He called people sir and ma’am. He always said, “Please and thank you.” He irked me. Granted he was five and surely his parents were somewhat to blame for his impeccable manners but still.
You might think it strange that I was bothered by such a display of obedience but the truth is, he was self-righteous, even at five. Outwardly, I could find no obvious fault. But he smirked when someone else got the answer wrong or stumbled over a verse only to shoot up his hand to remedy the error. He elaborated on the Bible stories with fact after fact but didn’t get along with the other kids. He admonished the other kids in class if they spoke of a tv show they had seen or video games they had played. He told everyone that his parents didn’t believe in tv, or sugar, or public school. Constantly implying that you were somehow less righteous if you did watch cartoons, eat ice cream or were not home schooled. His parents were raising a pharisee.”

*****It makes me sad the way you have described this boy. There is no grace in your tone or words for him or his parents. It is so easy for 5 year olds to be little pharisees, as it is for 40 year olds to be big ones. I hope that you can reread what you have written and see how it may sound. I agree with much of what you have said but this portion takes over. Let’s not all pounce on this poor 5 year old that is doing what comes so naturally to man.

]]> By: HannahRuthie http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-254 HannahRuthie Thu, 09 Feb 2012 12:07:59 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-254 I will check it out. "The very child-likeness of him offended and embarrassed me when I was around others." In the last few years I've realized this same thing about raising my older son (younger one doesn't seem to be cut from the same cloth), and I carry a load of guilt that at times feels overwhelming. I tend to protect myself by withdrawing, though, because general census shows people would rather have the Little Pharisee around than the child who asks uncomfortable questions at inconvenient times or gives the guest a Dutch Oven (okay, we had to have a little chat about that one.) Your writing on discipling our kids has been revolutionary, btw. Thx for the info! I will check it out. “The very child-likeness of him offended and embarrassed me when I was around others.” In the last few years I’ve realized this same thing about raising my older son (younger one doesn’t seem to be cut from the same cloth), and I carry a load of guilt that at times feels overwhelming. I tend to protect myself by withdrawing, though, because general census shows people would rather have the Little Pharisee around than the child who asks uncomfortable questions at inconvenient times or gives the guest a Dutch Oven (okay, we had to have a little chat about that one.) Your writing on discipling our kids has been revolutionary, btw. Thx for the info!

]]> By: Alia Joy http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-244 Alia Joy Wed, 08 Feb 2012 18:06:29 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-244 Oh yes, boy moms unite. Have you ever checked out<a href="http://www.themobsociety.com" title="Mobsociety" target="_blank" rel="nofollow"> MOB society</a>? It's a blog for mothers of boys and there are A LOT of women that can relate to these experiences. I've been really blessed with it as I try to wrangle these little men. Oh yes, boy moms unite. Have you ever checked out MOB society? It’s a blog for mothers of boys and there are A LOT of women that can relate to these experiences. I’ve been really blessed with it as I try to wrangle these little men.

]]> By: HannahRuthie http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-241 HannahRuthie Wed, 08 Feb 2012 16:22:31 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-241 Well, Alia, your writing has captivated me again. Within the first couple paragraphs I was doing the Judah cry, although there's no ear infection to blame (I could probably use a nap, though.) It's an encouragement to hear how someone having similar experiences handles them. Keep 'em coming--apparently there's no one in my near vicinity that struggles with this stuff, so this is all I've got to keep me from the loony bin! Hehehe! Well, Alia, your writing has captivated me again. Within the first couple paragraphs I was doing the Judah cry, although there’s no ear infection to blame (I could probably use a nap, though.) It’s an encouragement to hear how someone having similar experiences handles them. Keep ‘em coming–apparently there’s no one in my near vicinity that struggles with this stuff, so this is all I’ve got to keep me from the loony bin! Hehehe!

]]> By: Heidi Stone http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/i-want-to-educate-my-children-dont-parent-out-of-pride/#comment-193 Heidi Stone Wed, 01 Feb 2012 09:21:19 +0000 http://narrowpathstohigherplaces.com/?p=651#comment-193 Mutual admiration society commencing... Sorry, compliments make me awkward. Btw, you inspired me. I had to write about parenting too. And I am not a very good mommy-blogger... :) Mutual admiration society commencing… Sorry, compliments make me awkward.
Btw, you inspired me. I had to write about parenting too. And I am not a very good mommy-blogger… :)

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