Day 2
I’ve a confession to make. Until this last year, I would have said that in many ways the local church has become obsolete.
As a Christian, there was always an awkward pause in the conversation when people would ask which church we went to and I would mumble something about being between churches or still looking or fellowshipping at home or some other noncommittal answer that basically meant we weren’t going anywhere.
Christians are supposed to go to church, but I wasn’t really sure why.
What could I get out of a Sunday morning that I couldn’t get out of a podcast or a worship cd? Why bother with all that when I have Christian friends I talk to or a Bible study I’m involved with?
If it’s for fellowship, I get more of that with my close friends than during that weird post church service time when everyone chit chats with their white styrofoam cup of cheap coffee and smiles and plays nice and talks Christianise God language like bless you and you’ve been on my heart, and praise Jesus when really you’ve been struggling in your faith for months and you didn’t hear a word of what the preacher said because you were too tired from staying up late watching reruns of Gilmore Girls.
And you wonder, “Has church become obsolete?” Is it really necessary?
I wouldn’t have come right out and said it but my answer would have been “No, it’s not essential.” I would have walked a wide circle around the question. Waxing poetic about community and accountability and fellowship and how we need to learn to dig into the word and feed ourselves. I would have sworn that I can be a good Christian and love God without loving church.
I would have said that we don’t need to go to church, we are the church. And most of it would have been wrong.
Every once in a while we committed to a church for a few months to a year and during those times I would answer with our church’s name and add a qualifying statement, “That’s where God has us for now.” Meaning until something better came along or until this church let us down or until we decided we were bored or burned out and we moved on.
In our 14 years of marriage, we have been absent from church far more than we’ve been in one. Each of them had their own unique problems and some of them were very valid. And valid problems are one of the greatest reasons why people don’t go to church.
One church had a strong biblical emphasis but no missions focus at all. It was a tiny enclosed Christian club and it’s members were dying off and spiritually dry. Our walk with God was nothing more than lip service on Sunday. Our lives were a mess.
One church was strong biblically, had a gifted pastor, strong community and missions focus. During our time at this church, we committed at a level we never had before and it was a great time of spiritual growth for our family. God’s word was preached and we saw repentance and revival in our spiritual walk, especially in our marriage.
Until the discovery that the lead pastor was having an affair with a young married woman in the church. Like I said, valid problem.
We had been a part of his home group and it was devastating. The effects of this made us reluctant to join a new church. Within a year, the church fell apart completely and many of our close relationships ceased to exist as people fell away from the Lord or moved on to worship at other churches.
The next few years was a series of casual relationships with the church. We went to one church for a while and developed some deep friendships and the fellowship found there was a joy to us but the word of God wasn’t strongly emphasized and we saw that while we had community, it lacked authority. There wasn’t a strong love for God’s word and the discipleship process wasn’t happening in people’s lives because in many ways there lacked truth. We had ceased to grow.
And so we pulled out. We tried a few home meetings with other like-minded Christians but each had its own set of problems and finally we quit altogether.
Do we really need church, especially when they all seem so inadequate?
I’ve found that the answer is “yes.”
And in the next 31 days I invite you to discuss your journey as I share mine. How I got to this place and why? I don’t have all the answers and I don’t claim to, but this is what God is doing in my life, in my heart, and in my church.
i’m going to read this, because this has been bugging me a LOT lately. church? no church? yes, the believers are the church. and there are a multitude of ways for believers to gather. and no, the gathering of the church is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. but to forsake it altogether, as it seems so many are choosing to do? ah, tough topic you’ve chosen to tackle, and i respect anyone willing to do that
looking forward to this!
steph
HopeUnbroken recently posted..Day 2: On Giving Up "Interruptions"
Thanks Steph. I don’t know if I thought it all out since I literally decided to do it Sunday afternoon, right after church. LOL, so I’m hoping I do this topic justice since I know it’s a big one that a lot of people have different ideas about. And whatever I mess up, grace will cover. Thanks for reading along.
We, too, have found ourselves in a place where, before we went back to church, had to decide why we were going in the first place. We did, finally, come to some clarity. It will be interesting to hear your answer to the same question.
I’d love to hear more about your process as well. I always find it interesting to see how God leads people and the ways in which he makes his will known to us. Jump in with your thoughts any time.
You are writing my thoughts exactly! We struggle with this so much – we have tried so many churches over the years with something always missing. I’m thrilled your writing about this – I can’t wait for whats coming up!
Stephanie recently posted..Roasted Vegetable Flatbread With Feta
I hope I’ll be able to address some of those things and the place we’re in right now. 31 days is a long time to write, this is my first time doing it, so I’m trying to pace myself and not overwhelm everyone with 2000 word posts! But I seriously have so many thoughts on this subject and in many ways more questions than definite answers but either way, it’s a topic worthy of some discussion.
Wow, perfect timing on this! My husband and I are in the throes of trying to figure the church thing out.
Connie recently posted..Gratitude – October 2nd
Glad to have you along on my 31 days trying to tackle this topic and bring some clarity to my thoughts and experiences.
Wow — this sounds so exciting to read — fully of personal experience and God-workings. I cannot wait to read more.
Jen Ferguson recently posted..I had a catchy title, but…and the Soli Deo Gloria Party
Thanks Jen and thanks for the link up at Soli Deo Gloria. I pulled a bunch of posts into my pocket reader for later. I see some familiar faces and some brand new ones. I loved the testimony of your time with those women and the stillness God asked of you and the faithfulness with which He met you. Our God is beautiful.
Alia–This writing you’re doing will resonate in many hearts. Even if we’re IN a church it is repeatedly confusing, disappointing and reassuring, by turns.
I want to trust. To learn faith that depends on God, even if the task is daunting. Even if I don’t always have the words or eloquence or answers.
“I want to be spread thin enough that God has to show up.
And if I call myself a writer, well, every good writer should write in a way that scares them a little. In a way that peels back the layers and reveals something true, something raw, even if it’s not all sorted yet.”
The “not having it all sorted out yet” thing…I have yet to get this accomplished/ We live in a flawed world and are flawed and disappointing people. And disappointed, of course. Thanks for your thoughts and I anticipate truth and trepidation as you walk this trail.
Thanks.
Kimberley
Hey there Kimberly!
I saw your name and I thought, “why does that sound so familiar?” It’s late, that’s my excuse. I think I process a lot through getting my thoughts out and bouncing them around a bit and sometimes God will show me later that I am totally wrong, (wouldn’t be the first time.)
But sometimes, He reveals things in the midst of all the muddled confusion and even though my minds can spin, my soul can be at peace. I am coming to see some areas to be more clear than they were in years (and months) past and most of it has to do with my own heart and my reaction to things in my own humanity and others that are less than appealing.
I guess it’s a lot more pondering than answers but I’m glad to share what God is doing even as I wonder at it all.
Beautiful again! So glad your answer was YES — because I feel it is yes too. There’s no perfect church cuz it’s full of us imperfect people. I will say I’ve asked and doubted as well. But now today — oh my I love my church. I attend on the inner city — so when I go on Sunday’s I’m not just sitting in a pew — I’m up loving on the broken, homeless, prostitutes, and yes even a man convicted of attempted murder. Isn’t that the church? Loving broken and hurting people —
Ah yes, I love the local church!
Positively Alene recently posted..31 days of anonymity {day 2 – dear husband}
Alene, I’m glad you’ve found a church to love and even more so that you are being the body you are called to be in loving and shining Christ in these people’s lives. What a testament to the Glory of God! I am finding, the more I write and talk with people, that there is a large population of Christians wondering Why Church? right alongside me and as I am seeking answers, they are too. I’m glad you found your place and can call it your own.
It was a long hard search, but when I found one that fit me and my beliefs I was so blessed. Loving your series.
Positively Alene recently posted..31 days of anonymity {day 4 – dear ex}
Wow. This is almost exactly our story only we are still mumbling the noncommittal answers. Looking forward to reading what you have come up with.
Jennifer, well, I’m not too far past that so I’m deeply in process with all of this as well. I’m glad to have you along for the ride.
Alia, I am so looking forward to this series, and hearing more about your journey. The “Why Church” thing is so multi-layered and emotional, and I love to hear perspectives on that question!
Laura recently posted..Around the Table (Day 3)
Thanks Laura, great to see you here. This is the first time I’ve ever tried to post every day for 31 days so I’m a little skeered but there is a lot of stuff to write about and I feel like it’s the right thing as long as I don’t get in the way. Not that I have answers necessarily but it is a topic I am looking forward to having some dialogue about and there’s definitely 31 days of posts in here somewhere.
Our family has been there, done that. Our story was through leaving an abusive environment, to looking for a new place and not finding one where we felt safe. We checked out some home churches too and still felt a lack of confidence in every place we tried. So we started gathering with others who felt the same way, and organically…we developed our own little community…a regular gathering of the Church, in various types of buildings and even at the beach and a coffee shop. The point was that we were gathering. We began growing and building relationships with people and now we have partnered with another group that has musicians and inspirational speakers where we gather each week .
Lisa recently posted..We Could Be Resting All Along
That seems to be one thing that is happening a lot in our culture. Organic churches being formed and the questions come, is that the way things are headed? Are home gatherings, small groups and the like going to replace some of what has been known as institutional church and if so what do we gain and lose in the process. I’m curious, how does your church decide who speaks? Do you have more of an open dialogue like a small group or is there one “teacher” sort of person each week? I’d love to hear more about the nitty gritty details of a gathering.
This is one of my favorite 31 day topics I’ve seen so far. I love how you’re addressing it and am excited to see what wisdom you have to share.
Chelsea recently posted..cannons
Thanks Chelsea, I’m glad you like it. I’m having fun meeting new people and discussing it all. Thanks for taking the time to share here and I look forward to having you along for the ride.
I’m happy to be coming across your new series, Alia. It’s very much where my family and I are at. We attend a small church of around 20 people. They are sweet and honest, and many have become close friends, despite some smallish bumps in the “church experience.” My husband was reluctant to church shop, and when this one clicked, he dug his heels in and committed. This has been an example to me of why we are there–because we have love for these people–in a way, they are our mission as much as we are theirs. I’m looking forward to reading through your other insights. Thanks!
Hannah, Yay! Lovely to see you again and I’m glad you’ve found a community you click and connect with. In so many ways, that’s the very hardest part of it all. Good to hear from you. Hope you’re doing well.