This weeks prompt: Thank You
This week we gathered in homes, wrote our thanks and spoke them out, made lists of blessings on paper shaped like fall leaves, sent praise to heaven as we gathered. And I mourned a little bit. I’ve been absent from this blog since last week, which also happens to be the 2 year anniversary since my father passed away. I just didn’t have words to share.
I’m not raw, the torn flesh sort of searing pain that comes with sudden death. The phone call and the sucked in breathe, exploding lungs and tears and shrieks. There was none of that when he passed away, it was years in the making, and I was there when the nurses leaned in close, listening for breath as we held ours. He was gone. But we had known that for days. He wasn’t coming back from this.
And yet, there is a grief that lingers, that pops up with tears brimming at the sight of the oysters on sale in the crumpled Thanksgiving flyer. The oysters that he loved. Or at the pin of the elephant wearing pants that he might have sent in an email had he stumbled across it first. He would have gotten a kick out of that and shared it with me. I could see it becoming his avatar. I would’ve rolled my eyes and smiled.
It might have become one of our inside family jokes. We had so many of them. One line and all of us would be cracking up. We had history. And history and humor make for good memories. Sometimes grief is a smile as we remember and sometimes it is tears.
We believe. We know a God who saves, who gathers the weak from hospice beds and carries them home.
So this week was a remembrance of that grace. And a reminder as I count the blessings of my daughters grin stretching long across her face, devoid of her two front teeth, my son’s olive fingers wiggling at the table or my oldest son’s arm slung around me as we now see eye to eye, his height soon to surpass my own, my husband’s firm hand encircling mine like home, my mother’s friendship and her overestimating the amount of green bean casserole we would need resulting in yummy leftovers, my in laws home as wide open as their hearts and of course the stuffing, which was placed right by my seat at the table and is my favorite thing about Thanksgiving dinner.
These are grace upon grace, Simple and profound and yet, these things are nothing in light of what He has done for us. What God has prepared for those who love Him. I think of this as we remember my dad, of a feast prepared, the table set, the glory of God revealed.
And I say Thank You.
Wanna join in? You can. The rules are simple.
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
Oh my heart sweet friend. I wish we were sitting side by side so that I could hug on you. Counting blessings with you tonight friend and lifting you up to Him as you remember. Blessings.
Thanks so much, Wendy. I wish that too.
{Sigh} Ah friend…how you write and how your words flow, and all in 5 minutes. Thank YOU for sharing your heart and for writing brave and reaching deep. I’m so glad your day was full of family and wonderful food, and I’m praying for your heart as those tiny triggers come, that you will sense His peace amidst the underlying grief. Have a wonderful weekend
Thanks Jacque, your words are always encouraging. I love that I’ve met you in real life now and I can picture your gorgeous smile when I read your words.
Beautiful words from a beautiful soul! I love how you’ve written your joys and your sorrows but always with God woven through it all! Blessings to you, sister!
Mindy @ New Equus – A New Creation recently posted..Thank you all you little things! (Five Minute Friday)
Thank you Mindy. Blessings to you as well.
Such a beautiful heart and beautiful words you write!! Hugs and prayers for you!! So thankful that your day was wonderful with sweet memories!!
Yes, it was both beautiful and sad but there’s always hope for the day when we’ll be together again.
What sweet words laced with sorrow that are still filled with so much hope. I didn’t know you two years ago, but now I want yo tell you how sorry I am that you lost your dad. Your love for him shows through so strongly and with so much of your beauty. So thankful to know you now. I love your heart.
Amy Tilson recently posted..FREE Printable Ornaments for Truth in the Tinsel
Thanks you, Amy. Thankful to know you too. Blessed by your constant encouragement.
I lost my dad 7 years ago this past October 18. Just writing that makes me both feel like I can’t believe it was that long ago and feel like it was just yesterday at the same time. You are so right about grief being sometimes a smile and sometimes tears. Even today certain things will make me smile wistfully because they remind me of him, or tear up completely because I hate that he’s not here to see something I know he’d love. I want to be more intentional about keeping his memory alive for my son, but I’m not quite sure how to do that. He was so young when we lost my dad, but they were best buddies. Thank you for prompting me to figure out some way to do that.
Nancy @ Pilgrim Wanderings recently posted..Thank You – #fiveminutefriday
I am so sorry for your loss, Nancy. My youngest son was under two when my dad passed away but we tell him stories and show him pictures and I am planning on writing intentionally about my father as I process his life and the impact he had on me and this world. I pray you find a way to keep those memories for your son, he’ll see the love you have for your dad and feel it too.
This is such an exquisitely beautiful tribute, full of sadness and joy. I love it. Thinking of you as you mourn and rejoice. Much love. X
Tanya Marlow recently posted..I love the Church of England
Thank you so much Tanya. Love to you.
Sweet Alia
Your words also brought tears to my heart for it reminded me of my father who was promoted to heaven a few years back. Your Daddy sounds like a wonderful man and I am so glad that you have these wonderful memories of him. I wrote of my father in a post a few weeks ago if you want to check out my memories of him (My Exellent God Moments). Yes, the grief can suddenly overwhelm you, but we know they are waiting for us where there is no illness, pain or anything bad. Thank you for sharing with us about your Daddy.
Much love to you
Mia
Mia recently posted..Tenacious Thankfulness
Thank you, Alia Joy. My Dad has been gone a few years longer than yours but yesterday morning I found myself thinking, “Daddy really wants some turkey & dressing today!”
I had never thought of him missing or wanting a thing because I know where he is God is and all is well. Yesterday, however, I just knew he wanted to be sitting with us not only in spirit, but at Grandma’s table! He wanted to gobble up more than the turkey & dressing; he wanted to experience, once again, that overwhelming feeling of love that is our family! And you know what, Alia Joy, I wanted that, too.
Paula Barnett recently posted..Five Minute Friday
For me, I saw my dad get sicker and sicker as he got closer to death and at the end, he could barely eat anything. He couldn’t taste. He threw up often and I know how much he loved all the different kinds of ethnic foods he grew accustomed to throughout their missionary journeys. When I think of him in heaven, I picture Him dining with Jesus, banquet set, a feast and a celebration, and that brings me peace and joy even in the mourning. We do miss them, don’t we? I am glad this is not the end.
What a perfect blend of joy in the midst of sorrow. Thank you for reaching deep today and sharing your heart.
Barbie recently posted..I Just Want To Thank You
Thank you, dear friend.
Wonderful remembrances my friend…giving thanks with you.
Lorretta recently posted..“Birdie Bread” {a family tradition}
Thanks Loretta.
I love this post as much as heart can love a blog post. I wrote yesterday about the give and take of the years. The years have taken so much from my family, but we’ve also seen so much restored and given. Thanks for these words and this glimpse of a life and heart so full. Happy Thanksgiving friend.
Jessica recently posted..5 Minute Friday: Thank You
Hope you had a great Thanksgiving, friend. You bless me, girl. Miss you. Took a teeny blog break but I’m back now. Looking forward to connecting again.
Alia- your words always fill my heart and warm my soul. I’m glad you were able to enjoy such cozy celebrations of Thanksgiving while remembering your dad and all the simple and personal ways you were grateful for his prescence and now cherished memories. Happy Thanksgiving friend.
Nicole recently posted..Thankful Thursday: Happy Thanksgiving
Nicole, I just like you more and more. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!
Amen.
Lorretta recently posted..thank{you}… and you know who you are
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this.
Brenda Yoder recently posted..Why I’m not a Salesman (God’s Gift in Disguise)
Thank you Brenda.
Thank you… just thank you for sharing so honestly here friend. You are exquisite with your words and as a sister in Christ I feel your burden friend – praying for you and just thanks, thanks from my toes for being such an example… xoxo
Tonya Salomons recently posted..Glad Welcome
Love you, friend. Just yeah. Love you.