1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:::
Risk…
I have been conspicuously absent of late. Since the last five-minute Friday poured out on my screen, I have had nothing. No words, just muddled mixed emotions and the dreaded downward tug of despair. This blog has remained silent and that feels like the biggest failure to me right now.
Silly really. I know these cycles so well but I just can’t seem to make the blank screen produce.
I have showed up, in days past and put thoughts and words, even nonsensical ones to task, making them speak for me. But this past week, I couldn’t take the risk.
In this space I hope to be real. I don’t want to write an image of a person I am not. I know my failures, my frailty, my wretchedness, and also my brilliance, my beauty, and my worth or at least I hope to. I am beginning to believe it all, but the truth is that even in the midst of this, there are days, weeks, hours that tick by and I can’t see anything.
I am going through motions. And I feel so void, so empty. And sometimes I get sick of showing up and saying, ” I am in this place again!” Depression sinking into me, filling me, empty. And this is all I can manage while I wait for the upturn to release me.
I would risk it all if there were no more days of shadows and grey, this purgatory between dreams and despair. I would write my soul if I could only find it.
Being in the middle again… When all you want is release from ruminating in the harsh known is the hardest. I know, because life is all about what you choose to do in the middle while waiting. I stand beside you in the mist Alia. Know that it is ok to be there in the despair and angst and that you will surface again. Thanks for risking…
Much love to you my friend!
Thanks Stacey. This too shall pass.
I know this place.
Love you, friend.
Love you too Kathi. Thanks
Beautiful, vulnerable words. RISK…right there, in the sharing of the REAL.
I found you via Lisa-Jo’s blog…my linky is right after yours…and I’m so glad. I’m loving your truthful voice here, and I’ll be back!
Wishing you rest, sOnshine, and laughter –
Teri
Teri @ StumblingAroundInTheLight recently posted..The Risk of Deep Waters
Thanks Teri. I’m always glad to meet new friends through Lisa Jo’s blog. I look forward to having you here as well.
There have been times that I too have written words but hesitated to take the risk and share them. It’s easy to write when we feel inspired but challenging when we just feel blank.
Thanks Tiffany. Yeah, I journaled for years but it’s different sharing your words with others in a blog, especially when it is such a regular struggle. Sometimes it just feels like complaining and whining and so it’s easier to stay silent. I’m glad I have wonderful supportive readers that love on me even when my words are risky.
You are risking and being transparent…even in the dark, gloomy canyon. (((HUGS))) It’s okay not to write so often. If I post four times a month, I am satisfied. It’s most important for me to be in the Word, in prayer, and in life. Writing is the overflow.
Please remember to give yourself grace. Be kind to my friend Alia Joy.
Deb Weaver
thewordweaver.com
Deb Weaver recently posted..Psycho Wonder Weaver Sets Me Up!
Thanks Deb, I always love your support and encouragement dear one. I’ve been doing the Bible in 90 days and that’s taking up some time but you’re right. Writing is the overflow. Thanks for the reminder.
You’re not alone in this place or in these thoughts. Sometimes it helps to know you’re not alone.
Thanks so much Laura. It does help to know that I’m not alone. And even when all I have to say doesn’t seem like much, I do hope others know they’re not alone either. Thanks for sharing that with me. I need the reminder sometimes.