1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
OK, are you ready? Please give me your best five minutes on:::
I have been conspicuously absent of late. Since the last five-minute Friday poured out on my screen, I have had nothing. No words, just muddled mixed emotions and the dreaded downward tug of despair. This blog has remained silent and that feels like the biggest failure to me right now.
Silly really. I know these cycles so well but I just can’t seem to make the blank screen produce.
I have showed up, in days past and put thoughts and words, even nonsensical ones to task, making them speak for me. But this past week, I couldn’t take the risk.
In this space I hope to be real. I don’t want to write an image of a person I am not. I know my failures, my frailty, my wretchedness, and also my brilliance, my beauty, and my worth or at least I hope to. I am beginning to believe it all, but the truth is that even in the midst of this, there are days, weeks, hours that tick by and I can’t see anything.
I am going through motions. And I feel so void, so empty. And sometimes I get sick of showing up and saying, ” I am in this place again!” Depression sinking into me, filling me, empty. And this is all I can manage while I wait for the upturn to release me.
I would risk it all if there were no more days of shadows and grey, this purgatory between dreams and despair. I would write my soul if I could only find it.