1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..
This weeks prompt: Graceful
Full of grace.
It’s like foreign soil, I’ve yet to touch. To dig deep into the dirt and pull up the fruit from that messy ground. Some days there is nothing but calloused hands and empty scorched earth.
Grace for the moments when the words don’t come and I sit stifled, screaming with emptiness.
Grace for the times when frustrations mount and the dishes pile and kids whine and there is too much laundry and too much noise and too much room in my mind for thoughts that leave me feeling as if it’s all a cruel joke.
And grace seems like something I have to earn because I never can seem to get it right, and He seems so very absent. And I’m so tired.
The momentum of this life to get from one day to the next and it takes so very much to open these lids sometimes and face a new day and some days it’s all I can do to grasp on to the covers and sink back down and wonder if this is it.
And my mind tells me no but my heart speaks empty, gaping wide. And I look around, and I am ashamed at these petty thoughts, but still, they swirl. And I think, “if I can just be better, do better.” And I forget the gospel so easily some days.
And some days, I rise and do. I make these hands strong and straighten my back tall and lean in to the chores and duties and check the boxes. I put on lip gloss and open toe shoes and I march through the motions, because momentum is all I have and if I stop, I fall, and I might not be able to get back up.
And some days, I pray. And I know that this will pass. Because it is a season that comes often and crushing and hard. And I know my redeemer fills the empty cracks with grace.
I know this.
But some days, I walk a silly step and my joints list and I am undone. And on those days, I pray to God for the graceful moments when my cracks seep Him, and in the emptiness, the gospel arrives.
You may or may not have noticed I’ve been absent from my blog since last Friday. Anyone who reads here frequently knows that depression is an issue that I struggle with from time to time and something God has been using to refine me.
I have found so much support, prayer, and encouragement here and I am blessed by your love and understanding.
I will be taking another week off from blogging to spend some time with God.
In the meantime, please visit Lisa-Jo’s 5 minute Friday and the link ups there, you are sure to find many amazing, encouraging, graceful women living their lives in community. Be blessed.