Five Minutes on: Bare
We loved in that bare shouldered way of a man and woman. Of shared breath and space and warmth.
I was a girl, really. Only nineteen, not even old enough to drink champagne on our honeymoon. He was twenty, broad-shouldered and ready to carry me into our life. The weight of it all still light as he carried me across the threshold and we laughed and tried to maneuver my dress and head through the door without concussing me. My veil still coiled tightly around my hair which was fighting mightily against bobby pins and hairspray.
He prefered my hair down long, hanging loosely down my back. After all, we fell in love on white sand, his kiss always tinged with saltwater and his hair bleached white.
I was a fresh-faced girl who loved the sun and couldn’t imagine a day when wrinkles would form across my brow from days spent worrying about bills being paid and water being shut off and that pregnancy test that wouldn’t answer me with hope month after month.
We had everything stacked against us. Youth, immaturity, poverty, sickness, and the blind belief that this world would offer us our dreams lined tidily up for the taking.
I look at pictures, cut and pasted into my scrapbooks, bubbly handwriting captioning each shot with all the bouncy exuberance of a schoolgirl. Even my hand has changed. Hurried script, slashing quickly across pages, show none of the loopy daydreaming. Boxes full of photos stacked awaiting the day they will be sorted and placed into albums. File after file of pictures remain trapped in my computer.
Waiting for time.
And then I see on twitter a link to albums that are now 20 years old. And these are the songs I listened to on my Walkman. Each album reminding me of the mixed tape I had recorded from the radio, carefully stopping and starting the recording when I heard the opening notes and always managing to miss the beginning. These were the years that I had still been young. Was that really twenty years ago?
Waiting for time never comes. It simply passes.
You simply look back on 20 years and it has gone. It is now boxed up and preserved waiting for a moment in the future when the clock will stop, time cracked wide open with photo boxes and projects and memories.
And you know that the bare shouldered girl is gone. She is older and wiser, and she has to fight harder for her dreams and passions these days because the years have tired her. She has to fight for ruby lips and the sway of hair let down for him. She has to fight to relax her face, smoothing the creases, hit the play on her iPod and remember that she used to dance to this song. She used to sway her body and dream and get lost in hope. Maybe that girl is still in there somewhere.
A flash mob of writers, a community of sisters, a glorious chorus of voices knit together in fellowship. Join us? This weeks word: Afraid
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.
I love this.. Thank you for sharing.. I like your blog
glad I stopped by
Karen
karenbethc recently posted..five minute friday {bare}
Thank you for stopping by, I always love to ‘meet’ new people.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
such a beautiful memory and a sweet glimpse into who you are, alia.
isn’t it amazing how time can fool you? sometimes, inside, i still feel like that 19 year old girl so full of hopes, dreams and anticipation for the future… and then i look in the mirror and think what happened… or i try to do something i could’ve done without a second thought back then and feel in my bones the years that have passed.
the trick is how not to lose that hopeful girl full of freshness and life and yet to balance her with the beauty and experience and wisdom gifted by the years of life and walking with the Lord.
richelle @ “our wright”-ing pad recently posted..Five Minute Friday ~ Bare
Oh yes, my sister in law threw me a crazy party when I had turned 29 and we all went roller skating and I don’t mean to brag, but I was pretty awesome when I was in middle school. lol But I got on those skates and my entire center of gravity was different and instead of speeding around the rink, I was just trying to keep from dying or throwing my back out… I felt so old.
But sometimes I feel really young and even immature and I feel like I’m still playing at being a grown up even though I’m well into my thirties.
I am trying to marry the fresh girl and hope with wisdom and experience. It’s been a challenge but talking about dreams this month has awoken some of that. I’m excited to see what God resurrects.
Thanks as always for your very sweet comment here.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
That was beautiful, I felt it all as you talked about it, you have such an amazing way with words, just beautiful, thank you. Tara (The Proverbs 31 Sanctuary)
Thank you for your lovely comment and thanks so much for your twitter love.
I am so glad to get to know you more these Fridays as well!
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
So glad that I found you! I’m following via FB. Have a great day!
Sarah C. recently posted..Fresh paint?
Thank you Sarah! I’m glad to connect. Have a great weekend and I look forward to getting to know you more.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
I can hear that girl in your words. She’s still there:)
Kimberly recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Yes, I think you’re right. She’s in there. Thanks for stopping by.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
She is in there–I don’t the young girls ever leave us, they just don’t always get a chance to come out as often as they like. Be blessed:)
Jennifer @purplebuoy recently posted..Afraid
Right? I had a talk with my husband last night which was stuck in my mind and prompted this post. He’s still very adventurous and I feel I’ve gotten more and more timid as time has gone on and I feel the responsibilities of motherhood and life. But sometimes that girl breaks free and I remember what it’s like to just dream big with the whole future ahead.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
OH love this, just love your words you write so beautifully!!
Jennifer Peterson recently posted..Blank Screen
Thank you Jennifer, I appreciate your encouragement and I’m enjoying getting to know you a bit more each week. Don’t you just love this community of amazing writers? Seriously so blessed.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Oh I could picture everything – it was like a movie was playing in my head. I love how you just leaned in and wrote you heart and your story. Thank you for sharing!
Tonya Salomons recently posted..Five Minute Friday – Bare
Thanks Tonya, I’m thinking of beginning on my memoirs. Nothing super fancy but just the need to get some of the stories out. I’m kind of excited about it all. I feel like I’m dreaming again and this months link up with Holley has got all kinds of juices flowing. So we’ll see what comes of it all.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
dang girl!!!! thats 5 minutes w/o editing!?! DANNNNG good. so vulnerable and real and well written. You got SKILLS girl!
blair @ wild & precious recently posted..inspired.
Thanks Blair, they don’t always turn out as well. Some weeks are definitely better than others. But I’ve been doing it for a year now and you really do get better at purging words swiftly. It’s been really good for writing practice. And I love to see what everyone else produces, it’s all so varied and interesting to see how God is working in each writer’s life.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Oh sweet friend…how your words pouring out of your heart just so speak to mine. I have been married for 20 years now and know this place. Some days it seems like just yesterday we stood across from each other promising always. Love you much.
Wendy recently posted..I Know
We’re going to be celebrating 15 years in May but we’ve been together/ dating etc. for nearly 18. It feels like forever and then sometimes it feels like time has flown so swiftly it just happened. Congrats on 20 years! Your hubby sounds like an amazing man and it’s no small feat to stay married in this day and age. Love you too, girl.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Beautiful and brave and bittersweet.
Genevieve recently posted..The naked soul
Thank you Genevieve. Bittersweet. Yes, that is a perfect way to describe memories and time.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
So when are you coming over so we can bare all in person? Because I get you, soul sister. I do.
And with each write I see the girl grown within you, transforming into the woman He’s designed you to be. And friend….you’re beautiful. bare and all…just stunning.
{HUGS}
I’d write that in bubbly letters if I could here
Nikki recently posted..Bare {True Beauty} ~ Five Minute Friday
I know! We do need to get together! I was thinking the other day, I wish we could do an #inRL #fmfparty meetup/conference. Somewhere central. And we’d all meet up and free write and eat chocolate and stay up way to late. Are you going to Allume this year? I’ll be there. This is my year of travel and conferences. I’ll be all over the place. Wonder if I’ll ever be in your neck of the woods. I don’t think I’ll ever be in Minnesota. Any reason for you to trek to Oregon? Beside me. It’s lovely in the summer.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
You are beautiful, and I am always awed by how you can tap into your feelings and draw such a vivid picture for us in five minutes…I’m still excavating my feelings lots of times…what a tribute to you and your hubby hanging in there together for 20 years…Congrats, Alia Joy
Dolly@Soulstops recently posted..Five Minute Fridays: Bare
Thank you Dolly, that means a lot to me. I know this is an @lindseyfoj type of thing to ask but do you know your Myers Briggs type? We’ve had many a conversation about personality indexes and I swear that being an INFJ is the main reason that my thoughts and emotions are always ummm, prevalent.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Well written my friend and so true. I still have some photo albums not done. From real photos, b4 digital. Times goes by and we still have dreams. Just thought I’d let you know that I am FINALLY going to Nicaragua in late April. I am excited! I told you about that a few months ago…God sized dream. So now I found out what shots are recommended and will do that b4 it’s too late. I bought tickets on Sunday so now it’s accumulating a few items And waiting. I’m not letting this dream go esp. since I have had my passport since end of 2008. Take care!
Becky L recently posted..Here I Am Again!
Yay! I’m so happy for you and for your dream to be coming to fruition! Yes, definitely get your shots and I’ll be waiting to hear of your experiences when you get back!
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
I often wonder where Laurie-the-girl is. Like you, I’m sure she’s still there somewhere and every once in awhile I get glimpses of the girl I used to be.
Thank you for sharing glimpses of the Alia Joy girl.
Laurie recently posted..stripped bare
I’m sure she is as well. I find, personally, that music brings back a lot of memories and emotions. They are so strongly tied to my past. Some songs I can’t even listen to because they were from very dark periods in my life and others will cheer me right up and flood me with those hopes of youth. I love those glimpses too.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Absolutely beautiful!
And such a shame that it is so hard to find that young girl in us. She is changed yes, but still there and longing to come out I think.
Thanks for a beautiful picture . . .
Carol
Carol Vinson recently posted..When I Am Afraid
Thanks Carol. Dreaming has revived parts of her/me. I think it will be interesting to see what comes of my God Sized Dreams as I learn to hope again.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Hitting play and trying to remember the abandon of dancing right alongside you.
Missy recently posted..Five Minute Friday – Bare
Woot! You go, girl!
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Hi AliaJoy
I can still see a lot of that bare shouldered girl of twenty years ago. That sparkle still shines through. But now with the added beauty of the wisdom and maturity that add just an extra twinkle in the eye!
Much love
Mia
Mia recently posted..The Bare Necessities
Oh you’re sweet. Funny what others perceptions are of you. Sometimes I don’t see her but I do hope she comes through with the added wisdom and maturity at least some of the time.
Much love to you as well. Thankful for your kind words.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Oh, I really like this. Totally different than my take! And isn’t that the beauty of it? That we can all have these (sometimes) wildly different ideas, and yet they all coalesce around one word.
I had a dreadful day today, and didn’t follow my own advice, in that I did prowl through Twitter for news. But I’m really glad I finally left the bedroom, logged on, and then wrote my article. I would NOT allow myself to read what other ladies had written until I wrote my own (tougher than I would’ve thought), and I’m really glad. I would’ve written a COMPLETELY different article, and then, that wouldn’t have been me.
Love this take on it. So interesting to read what others have written. Thank you for sharing this part of you.
Cynthia recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
That is what is really cool. I love that I can visit a dozen different blogs and each one will have a different view of the same word.
That’s good practice. I never read anything before I write myself or I get all messed up. I just glance at the word and get to work. Someone said you should always create before you consume. Maybe it was The Nester? I don’t remember but it stuck with me because I do so much better if I get my writing out of the way before Twitter or Facebook or any other blogs.
Heading over to see your take on it.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
Beautifully written, my friend! And pretty sure she’s still there! Go and claim her.
Becky Daye recently posted..Five Minute Friday~ Bare
Thanks Becky. I’ve got the music on tonight and I’m dreaming big things.
Alia Joy recently posted..Five Minute Friday: Bare
I like this story of you and the hubs… A glimpse into how you met. I have noticed in the past couple years how changed I am with age- not that 29 is ‘aged’ but you know what I mean- I think differently and my spontaneity is lacking in comparison to my early 20s.
I’m encouraged by your words to work on that more- bare a tattoed shoulder every so often.
Xo- Nic
Oh this is beautiful. Such an intimate look into your life and makes me reflect on my marriage, nearly 25 years now. Your writing always captures my heart.
Barbie recently posted..When You Feel Weak & Vulnerable {The Weekend Brew}
Such a special post… i am sure Josh really liked it too. Funny how we can feel that young girl still in us… even for me at 60… Mary Englebright had a beautiful picture she drew. It showed an lovely older woman with white curly hair and wrinkles at her eyes… she was looking into her mirror and what she saw was herself as a young girl. I loved that picture.. and its true that each year as you grow older you dont really feel so old inside. Outside its a little different at times…smile, but inside where it counts that young girl is alive and wanting to be known. Keep up the wonderful writing!!!
1991 anyone? Loved, loved, loved this and right there with you for every year of it! How much time could have passed and I never did this or stopped doing that? Sometimes I feel like I haven’t changed a bit and at other times like these two versions of me wouldn’t recognize each other. You have brought some beautiful memories to mind this morning. Thanks so much for that!!
Amy Tilson recently posted..The Bare Essentials
Seeing you DANCE, Alia Joy! Dance!