I didn’t know what else to do. I had thrown up all morning, my throat raw and burning even as I cried.
I couldn’t do this anymore. How did anyone do this?
I couldn’t even handle the baby I already had and a new one was forming. I felt like my insides were squeezing every last ounce of soul out of me with every wretch as I clutched the side of the toilet bowl hour after hour. The morning sickness followed me all hours and I couldn’t remember the last time any food had sounded appetizing.
I was so tired. I just wanted to curl up right there, lay my head against the thick blue carpet that was sorely in need of a vacuüm. I could feel the graham cracker crumbs being pushed into my thigh as I sat and closed my eyes.
I heard his sobs quiet just behind the door. I just needed one minute to breathe. I had put him in his crib, handed him some toys and turned my back on his chubby fists clutching for me.
I started to rise up as another wave of nausea wound its way through me. I heard his sobs start again.
I was desperate.
I made it through that day and many others just like it. That chubby baby is now almost a teenager and taller than me. And it did get easier in many ways. But I didn’t know that then.
I didn’t have a computer or internet. There were no blogs on motherhood. There were no resources for a new mom who could barely make it past the bathroom let alone out of the house.
This is just one of the reasons I am so invested in Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson’s new book Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe
There are no formulas to follow, no litmus test for whether or not you are succeeding as a mom. There are no judgments here.
What I did find was wisdom in the way mothers can seek God for strength.
What I did find was community and mentoring functioning the way God always intended, with grace and encouragement, transparency and humility.
I am very wary of recommending parenting books because I know that as a new mom I read many, each with its own list and manual of how to be the perfect godly parent and with each turning page, I knew I would never measure up.
This book breathes life into those spaces in a mothers soul that grows weary worn and doubts if she can make it through another day or ever parent with excellence.
It is the precious correspondence of a mother who has been through the trenches of motherhood and has chosen to invest her life, wisdom, and friendship into a mom who desperately needs a shoulder to lean on. It is an invitation to be used by God as a mother, as a mentor, as a friend.
“I hold these pages, words of Sarah Mae’s and Sally’s, that are a gift to every mother, that welcome mothers everywhere out of hiding and loneliness and into a fellowship of sisters and mentors, that will make you feel not alone, that will make you feel that there is real God-given hope.”
-Ann Voskamp, New York Times best-selling author of One Thousand Gifts
It is the warm hug of a friend when your sink is full of dirty dishes and you just stepped on a Lego. It is the embrace of sisters who stand in solidarity on this road of dirty diapers, sippy cups, and dreams of going to the bathroom alone. It is the hot cup of coffee delivered to your door when you’re out of filters and trying to rig the coffee machine with paper towels after being up all night with a colicky baby.
It is what every mom needs. Someone who understands and sees the beautiful gift that is motherhood while being able to speak hope into those mornings when you’d rather crawl back under the covers.
I am so excited to be part of Desperate’s Book Launch Week because not only is the book a must read for moms, those mamas know how to pamper us. If you purchase a copy of Desperate: Hope for the Mom Who Needs to Breathe during launch week, January 7th-January 12th, you can take part in extra special gifts and giveaways. So don’t wait, head over to Sarah Mae’s and check out all the goodies they have in store for you and don’t forget to order your copy today.
I got my free copy from the lovely and talented Sarah Mae at the Allume conference but my opinions are as always, my own.