Sold: Anna’s Story Part 2

sold lighter

This is Part 2 of Anna's story: Sold Some content is graphic and may not be suitable for children or those whose own experiences may be triggered by images of abuse and trauma. Discretion should be used. While this story is fictional, the details involved in stories like this are not.  So this was what it felt like to have your insides torn apart, ripping your soul through your limbs, feeling … [Read more...]

I Ache with Purpose: You Have Made Me Brave

fun house

So I wrote the post. The hard one. The one that had sat in my soul for years but never put into words. But this was my chance. Somehow it felt easier to post it on a friend's blog. God and suffering. She had asked me to contribute a post. She loved the way I wrote about the pain and the beauty. I said yes. I would be honored. And then I thought of the suffering in my life. I paused over … [Read more...]

In Which I Tell It How It Is

guest post

Today, I've am amazing honored  to guest post at two beautiful blogs. My friend, Tanya is a beautiful soul whose constant journey to find the  glory in the midst of suffering and to see God's hand in it all blesses me. I knew that this particular piece of writing would be safe with her. It is part of my story and  it may seem silly but I needed to write it almost as much as I  need a bit of … [Read more...]

In Which I Stink at Asking for Help

Mocha Club Purpose Project

So this is the winner! In both color and cut. It barely won out against the angled bob. I figured in the event of a tie, I'd let my hubby cast the deciding vote but this won by a few. I've got the picture printed and I'm all set to get this hair chopped off but we still have $99 to go with one day left! Remember, I've got to make my goal by tomorrow to finish my Dress for Change Project. I'll … [Read more...]

The Faith You Don’t Really Want

Nepal00351

I was five when they told her I might die. My delicate spine bruised like a blooming flower in yellows and violets and then the dull brown of dying blood. It was this blood that was no good. The very thing we had in common. I lay in sterile pallor on the thin bed, crinkling under the sheet with the plastic covering, ready to be stripped down and reused again, should the bed be vacated by … [Read more...]

I Need Africa More Than Africa Needs Me

I need Africa

I can't scroll  through my Facebook feed without several posts about a charity or a good cause popping up amidst details of silly things my friend's kids did, comical Pinterest pictures with sarcastic one liners, and  high scores on Farmville. Each call to justice link beckoning  me to like, and share, and join in the collective chorus of voices who should care about that specific need. … [Read more...]

Alia’s Dress for Change Project

Dress for Change Project

  First a word on where my heart is. This was a post I wrote when I started blogging. I want to grow roots deep into the foundation of justice. It’s not enough to be aware of the things that should not be so. The things that cause moments of silence, and downcast eyes, and the “Oh, that’s such a shame, that’s so sad,” as we continue with our hearts blind to our … [Read more...]

Why I’m Going to The Justice Conference

justice conference

"We must allow the Word of God to confront us, to disturb our security, to undermine our complacency and to overthrow our patterns of thought and behavior." — John R.W. Stott These are the times when mascara would never cling long enough to endure the movie's viewing. When tears come and sadness droops and caves and then joy breaks in and  emotions are dragged along looping wildly. And yet … [Read more...]

Trafficked: Anna’s Story Pt. 1

Trafficked: Anna's Story

Anna's cheek felt hot from the sun coming in through the bus window. Her hunger had turned from a dull ache to sharp pains radiating from her core. She felt another wave of nausea flood her and she leaned her head back onto the seat. The other girls were somber, each mind burning through a whirl of possibilities and fears. Oksana had been the first to ask when they would be at the airport, … [Read more...]

The Muck and the Glory: a recap of my one word 2012

The Muck and the Glory

I started this blog as a ministry to others. To share my stories and develop community here. I wanted to have a place to share what God was doing in my life. I wanted this to be a place where I was fearless. Where I could push past platitudes and be  real and transparent. I had no idea this blog would minister to me more than to others.  Last year at my blogging début, I chose one word … [Read more...]

An Open Letter to my Dad on His 60th Birthday

Kaia and Papaji

I didn't cry much after you passed away. In all honesty, I felt a flood of relief as we sat watching. The nurse leaned over your hospice bed, cold stethoscope pressed to your chest, not needing to be warmed first. Your breathing had been labored and rattly, then shallow. Mom and I sat, sides touching on the couch, and when the nurse  rose, draped her stethoscope back around her neck and … [Read more...]

On Introverts, Advent, and Intent

Loneliest in a crowd

I knew I would eventually get around to finishing my 31 days. I didn't know where this series would lead when I started it and I'm still not entirely sure but I know that during this season of depression, church has been on my mind a lot. These are some of those ramblings. Day 24 She sits at the corner booth, tucked away with a bowl of soup. The steam rises past her face and she concentrates … [Read more...]

Writing In and Through Depression

Writing through depression

There is something to be said about writing in and through. So many times we can't write out the words in the midst of our own pain, our own trials, and we are so immersed in our  story that it's hard to get perspective enough to share it. And I get that. Sometimes we do need time to heal, to process, to let it breathe. But there is something about that perspective that is powerful which … [Read more...]

Depression: Loving the God Who Breaks Me

Depression, a curse or a conduit?

She sits crisscrossed on the bed next to me. Tears have trailed down, dampening my pajama top, and it's her tiny hands with the chipped sparkly polish that push back my greasy hair and grasp at my cheeks. She turns my head to face her, still clutching softly with her fingers. "I'm sorry you're hurting so much, mommy." And my heart breaks anew. Tears keep flowing and I murmur thanks for her … [Read more...]

Five Minute Friday: Identity

5-minute-friday-1

It's Friday. You know what that means. Five minutes fast and furious and uncut. This week's word: Identity “Define yourself radically as one beloved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is illusion.” - Brennan Manning The letters are slanted slashing violently across the page. All sharp edges and fury. I've kept boxes full of journals stacking year upon year. So many pages … [Read more...]