Finding Joy on the Journey in Faith, Family, and all Things in Between.
I might have been the one that hurt you. I might have turned away a bit as you were sharing your story. I may have broken eye contact and glanced beyond you when you were talking, making you feel small and invisible. You might have flushed red as I excused myself with an empty smile and moved on. I might have used you when I thought I'd stand a little taller on your shoulders and ignored you … [Read more...]
It's been quiet around here lately. My mind full but my heart empty. I write close and soul deep and sometimes my bone marrow dries, the stuff where words settle in and gush onto the page with each pump of my heart. So I went to Jumping Tandem with weariness in my bones. With the ache of the overtired. A bit frustrated at the grace I'm trying to walk around in and sometimes find myself … [Read more...]
So I wrote the post. The hard one. The one that had sat in my soul for years but never put into words. But this was my chance. Somehow it felt easier to post it on a friend's blog. God and suffering. She had asked me to contribute a post. She loved the way I wrote about the pain and the beauty. I said yes. I would be honored. And then I thought of the suffering in my life. I paused over … [Read more...]
If church should look like family, and family connects over bonds made, blood shared, vows taken, and years lived together, how do we become family as a church? How do we find the home where our hearts settle into community? In most churches, we sit in rows or pews, or folding chairs facing forward. We may engage the message and punch out notes on our YouVersion app or in the torn off section … [Read more...]
She curls her body into mine, as tightly pressed as she can get. She is all flannel nighty and honey shampoo and girl. And my words get softer as the story grows. I can never tell her stories and expect sleep. Once there were words spoken over her and her eyelids would flutter and weigh with slumber closing softly to the world but now she waits for each sentence and grasps holds, fighting back … [Read more...]
Five Minutes on Ordinary I must have refreshed the page a hundred times. Staring at the number that wouldn't budge. Stomach clenched and churning. What started out as lofty ambition, a stepping out of my comfort zone to fling wholeheartedly into a project I passionately believed in, was leaving me with fear of failing spectacularly. I had a lot more to raise and my voice seemed to be thinning … [Read more...]
I was five when they told her I might die. My delicate spine bruised like a blooming flower in yellows and violets and then the dull brown of dying blood. It was this blood that was no good. The very thing we had in common. I lay in sterile pallor on the thin bed, crinkling under the sheet with the plastic covering, ready to be stripped down and reused again, should the bed be vacated by … [Read more...]
I didn't jump on the meal train. Every time I opened my email that subject line nagged at me. She had recently given birth. No family close by. Certainly she was worthy of a casserole or at least a big pot of spaghetti. I know how much a warm dish on a night when you have nothing left can comfort a tired soul. Finally, the guilt that I wasn't being a good servant and neighbor overwhelmed … [Read more...]
I can't scroll through my Facebook feed without several posts about a charity or a good cause popping up amidst details of silly things my friend's kids did, comical Pinterest pictures with sarcastic one liners, and high scores on Farmville. Each call to justice link beckoning me to like, and share, and join in the collective chorus of voices who should care about that specific need. … [Read more...]
I fear the tipping point when dreams placed within me become less about Him and more about me. Because I've seen it happen. I know it's ugly. I fear that the very makeup and fibers of my being are wrung tight and prone to catapult and tip lopsided and I sway under the searching of my heart. I want it clean but know the pain of having it scoured by Him. I fear the times when I shrink back from … [Read more...]
Something always proceeds greatness and I was trying to think of a time when I achieved something worthy of the name progress. There is only one thing. The thing that has always gone before me. The thing that has strengthened my spine tall to face challenges. The thing that has set my eyes on a clear path. The thing that whispered to me in the quiet hiss of doubt and shouted deep into … [Read more...]
"But doubt is wily and cunning and never, as it is sometimes said to be, loud or defiant. It is unassuming and sly, not bold or assertive - and the more unassuming, the more dangerous." — Søren Kierkegaard She's the strongest woman I know. I tell her this. She is strong and brave. I don't know if she believes me. She bats away compliments with the unsure smile formed by her mother's … [Read more...]
Sometimes I have too many thoughts in my head. Okay, most all of the time. I've looked into Myers Briggs Personality Types again as I've thought of dreams. I affirm the importance of knowing when you're in your element. In reading about all the types, I am beginning to see patterns where God has used me and directions where I feel He is leading me. I am an INFJ if you were dying wanted to … [Read more...]
This post has been excruciatingly hard to write. Because I like to tell the truth. The most common compliment on my writing is that it is authentic, raw, vulnerable, real, and brave. Honestly, you bolster my spirit with your love and graciousness as I share my messy, broken, beautiful with you. You have spoken life into places in my mess that I believe were the very loving words of God to … [Read more...]
I started this blog as a ministry to others. To share my stories and develop community here. I wanted to have a place to share what God was doing in my life. I wanted this to be a place where I was fearless. Where I could push past platitudes and be real and transparent. I had no idea this blog would minister to me more than to others. Last year at my blogging début, I chose one word … [Read more...]
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