To my mother in law on her birthday,
When I think of you, I always think of your cooking. Yes, I am the girl who loves to eat. I think of the meals you have prepared over the 17 years I have known and been a part of your family. It’s not just because you went to culinary school, or because you cook for a living, but also because so many of our family memories involve meals at your table.
The very first time we ate together as families in Hawaii, you served enchiladas and we ate on the lanai. I was only 16 then and had no idea that when you invited my family over for dinner, I would be joining yours forever in a few short years when I married Josh.
I have thought a lot lately about what it means to break bread with one another. The bond that a shared meal forms between people, and how Jesus used meals so specifically to build community. I love the idea of community, the ideals of it, the fruit that comes from it.
But truth be told, the work involved in developing and maintaining a community can be tiresome. Not only because I am an introvert and would usually prefer a quiet evening alone to a larger gathering, but also because when I take the spiritual gifts tests, hospitality doesn’t even register on my profile. It’s like my kryptonite. It makes me weak and tired just thinking about it. I am home teaching the kids all day and by evening, I’m drained. It is so far outside of my comfort zone to then open my home to others to share a meal. Although I have felt convicted that I should be more open to putting myself out there to build community, I know I will never be naturally gifted in that capacity. It’s work for me. There I said it. Friendships are a lot of work. Community is a lot of work. Cooking and cleaning up is a lot of work. I have three kids, I already have a lot of that to do and to add more mouths and dishes and groceries, well, sometimes it’s unappealing. And so, we (I) tend to avoid hospitality altogether, at least when a meal at my house is involved.
No one I know, does hospitality like you. And even though it’s not something I do well, or at all, I have learned a lot from watching you and your obvious gift of hospitality that has provided such a warm refuge for those who need a place to belong. Your house is not fancy in any respect. Most of your furnishings were found from garage sale bargains and Craig’s list. It is not immaculate and clutter free or sterile and impersonal. It is homey. Lived in. And that makes it the perfect home to invite people into. It’s a place where people gather for Bible studies and meals together. Where a room is offered when one is needed. It is a sanctuary where people find community during Holidays when all that awaits them at home is a solitary meal. It is a haven for those that would otherwise be alone.
It is an open door, a warm oven, and a table set for the Lord. It is a place you allow yourself to be used by Him to extend love, mercy , and nourishment to those needing to be fed not just in their bodies but in their spirits.
So, on your birthday, I wanted to tell you that you have nourished a very real part of me with those meals. Especially with your Guinness roast. Sigh.
And I hope someday, to be able to practice a little more hospitality with you in my life as a godly example of what it looks like to truly set the table.
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What a beautiful tribute to your special mom in love. Mine has been gone a couple of years. I often want to talk with her. I’m glad you have a chance to tell her how much she means. While it is still called today.
Do you think we can get that Guinness Roast recipe?
Maggie S. recently posted..Bacon and God’s Abundance
Maggie, Thanks, I’ll get the recipe and post it on my Narrow Paths to Higher Places Facebook page.
This is such a sweet and encouraging post. I definitely see a need to kick it up a notch in my own life as far as hospitality is concerned. One thing that I often remind myself of is that true fellowship and love extended goes much farther than a perfectly decorated home. I ask myself “What do I appreciate most when someone opens their home to me?” Truly it’s when they show they care. When I sense they want to know me and show me the love of Christ. Not just show off their home and their cooking skills. By the way, I grew up in Hawaii! I even had the lanai for my bedroom for a while! I loved it!!
Thanks Marisha, I had a lanai for a bedroom for a while too! Where were you in Hawaii? We were on the Big Island mostly.
Alia, thank you for your very kind words. It has been so awesome over the years living in different places to open our homes to others. Our lives have been so blessed and become rich with an abundance of people from all walks of life and nations. So thankful we can do this even as we grow older. And of course we are so thankful that God led you to Josh and our lives are continually blessed with your family and beautiful grandchildren.
P. S. I could give the Guiness reciepe if you want but have to wait till I get home.
You’re welcome! I would love to get the Guinness recipe from you. You can leave it here in the comments or email it to me directly and I’ll post it. Mmmm. Getting hungry just thinking about it. Love you and hope you have a fabulous birthday. We’ll see you guys when you get back.
My dad was stationed with the Air Force at Hickam AFB. I spent my childhood there, then moved to California at age 11. So many beautiful memories of Hawaii though.
Marisha recently posted..a time to dance
Yes, Hawaii does provide beauty. I just wondered because your kids look like they could be local. They are all gorgeous by the way. You have a beautiful family.
I hope she had a wonderful Birthday! Sounds like quite a woman! I am not a very good hostess either and am thankful that my husband is more in tune with serving others to teach me a bit. I honestly will be talking to someone and not notice they need a refill on drinks or the chips are out. I am more involved in chatting than about the serving. I’m trying to open my house up a bit more as well since I’m not always the best at this and can tend to use it as an excuse. Beautifully written yet again =)
Virginia recently posted..Insta-Week
Virginia, I think I do ok once people are actually in the door at my house. I just get anxiety before and exhausted afterward. I’m trying to find the balance between introversion and how God made me and a desire to build community and open up our lives. I’m working on it. I would love to sit at your house and chat, forget the water and chips.
Alia–this post & your heart make me smile. I know it’s in our weakness where Jesus can really shine. Your MIL probably can attest to her weaknesses in extending hospitality (because even the more outgoing people still have struggles with it). Your heart is really beautiful, teachable & honest. I know God loves it.
Kamille@Redeeming the Table recently posted..How do you fill that Jesus Shaped Hole in your Heart?
Thanks Kamille. I am really blessed by you and your example. Your words have been a catalyst for some of the conviction and calling in my heart towards deepening community and extending hospitality. Blessings to you, friend.